Regrets

There are no words

to help me understand.

Quiet in the trees,

standing close at hand.

You're not far away,

just out of the shade.

Yet you seem so far

as the sun starts to fade.

All alone once again,

after I found such peace.

Now I look to the sky,

hoping for a release.

I never told you how

I felt for you in truth.

So I stand here regretting

you never saw proof.

Though our lips never met,

our eyes lingered still

and I regret my action:

walking down the hill.

I never looked back,

and was never forced to see

the tears in your eyes

as I left quietly.

Now it seems I was wrong,

you loved me through it all.

Until that fateful day,

when you took your final fall.

So I stand quietly,

in the shade of these trees.

Hoping to find peace

bowed down on my knees.

Reviews

[closed]

bittersweet sentiments
set to somber words

mournfully poetic


-Dream

[Not here]

thanks dream :)

[PANDORA]

"You're not far away,
just out of the shade."

A clever line and powerful line. I am going to disagree with others and say some of the rhyming seems a little forced. I have a suggestion:

I never looked back,
and I stopped to see
the tears in your eyes
as I left quietly.

Ok, if you never looked back how can you see the tears?

Maybe---I never looked back,
so i was not forced to see
the tears in your eyes
as I left quietly

Again, this is just a suggestion and I would not have left an honest critique if I did not like the piece. I LOVE poems about unrequited love. The want, need and sometimes obsession is like a sweet addiction.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Not here]

thank you very much pandora, and i will fix that asap :) great critique there. i appreciate it

[PANDORA]

Anytime. I am so happy I could help. :-)

[ApKWrites]

Great poem...however :
Thought our lips never met,
our eyes lingered still
and I regret my action:
walking down the hill....

Is it supposed to be thought or though?
Other than that, great job!

[Not here]

oh its supposed to be though and thank you :)

[Tamika Finley]

Absolutely love this. Definitely able to relate to. The setting the poem gives off in fitting and the flow of the work itself is nice

[Not here]

thank you tamika :)

[Tamika Finley]

No problem

[WordShaker33]

Beautiful poem. You captured the raw emotion of having regrets perfectly! Masterfully done :)

[Not here]

thank you very much :)

[Emily]

Nice wording!
I like the layout of the words!
Well done!!

[Not here]

thanks Emily :) i appreciate it

[pikachulover]

Aww..so sad but written wonderfully, keep it up! :)

[Not here]

thank you :) glad you enjoyed it

[sarik]

amazing Dante,

simple and meaningful poem...

[Not here]

thank you sarik :) i appreciate the review

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not a big rhyme fan...but this one rolls off the tongue so naturally...and a very peaceful feeling from this.

[Not here]

thank you :) and if ur not a fan u dont have to review it or anything, its all good

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ordinarily not the rhyme fan....but this is an exception...i like this piece...like i said...doesn't feel forced, feels natural...

[Willard Wells]

"Thought our lips never met," to "Though our lips never met,. Beautiful work on love regrets and we all have them. Nicely done.

[Not here]

thank you willard, ill fix that :)