Warriors

... different people/stories, same wish.

He's a...

dark shadow and he walks the world alone

without a home and unknown he's on a road towards every stone,

every cactus. He is thrown into the practice of the throne,

where sit zoned out tyrants, who drone out their people's groans.

They atone by making homes that are blown into and thrown

by the wind. These homes are known as the broken-down zone,

nothing more than a stepping stone for the bemoaned to use. Dark tone

is getting overused; rows of people are stoned. They postpone the party

because broken noses are smarting. Abusive tyranny is parting

the crowds to make room for starting a disaster that's departing

from them to take over rebuilding the world in the midst of panic. 

But this man is gigantic, unsinkable and titanic, 

he rolls with unearthly emotions in his volcanic

temper, it's going manic and more or less transatlantic

while across the oceanic planes he plans to take satanic

powers down. Conquests are his antic.

He's a...

very thoughtful man and he always ponders.

Unfamiliar paths he wanders, and every opportunity squanders.

Lives his life in deep thought and he's always sought

the answer to find a life that he brought

out of the darkness and pain, yeah, he bought

his life from there. He wrought it and taught

himself to be strong, himself to be not

like the other people. He wanted to swat

away all the thoughts of giving up a lot.

He fought and he bought into his distraught

state of mind. Ought he not to have fought

and continually got more experience. Shots

then war was waged. Throughout it he aged

and at last he staged his own campaign, raged

throughout the engaged people who were upstaged.

She's a...

hard-fought warrior, never ever lets go.

The last thing she would do ever is stow

all the feelings inside, because she still knows

no matter how hard it is to cope, no,

the feelings she feels are what fuels her soul.

She uses them as drive to push low,

digs in to the ground and goes pro.

Using all of her power, she grows

into a woman strong enough. Oh,

she fights all day and fights all night

and when her height is highest her light

is bright and shines white. She writes and is quite

the master. Full of might, she delights in outright

domination. Tonight is her night out of sight.

In spite, she will fight until all the world delights

and her friends reunite with her at the end of night.

However...

these are only three people who are

fighting everyday they live under stars.

No matter what happens, their wars are waged

and every single battle that they continually staged

were used to fuel themselves to the next level.

Now everybody around them will revel

in the accomplishments that they made

a reality because in the shade

they sweated buckets and worked like dogs

while they jumped over obstacles like frogs.

Choose your path, warrior or weakling. You, a writer

can be so much more than either. Be a fighter.

Fight for the people who don't have a thing,

whether in the sewers or hiding behind bling.

People who can't hold themselves off the ground;

those are the ones who need help over the mound.

Worries plague us all as we go through time,

but we can always help others with every rhyme.

Author's Note

I know sometimes it doesnt make sense, but my poems sometimes have deeper meaning and sometimes they are more than just words on a page, they are a call-to-arms or a metaphor. Life is so complicated, you have to read between the lines sometimes.

Reviews

[Confuser]

David: This is a fabulous rhyme and the message/theme is encouraging and uplifting. It was inspiring to me and I believe it will be to others that read. I like this poem best of all your writes. It is poetic, although free flowing throughts roll...sometimes I can do this too much, and it's annoying to me, but you do it so well, footloose and fancy free. Wow, really spoke to me. Great work. One suggestion: 2nd line walks or walking towards..Thank you so very much, have a nice day. Also, the poem isn't too long. It's perfect. Dale

[Not here]

thank you dale :) im really glad you liked it, and ill get to that correction when i can

[Confuser]

Good work....I got loads of poems to correct....I know what you mean....Thank you!:D

[Emily]

Great idea for a poem!
Well done!

[closed]

your poems are always alot more than poems David
they have a masterful element of prose to them that makes your writing unique

like with this one, which tells a really kool story
and applies the survivalist concept to something literary

and non-concrete at that

youre right
there is alot being said here

whether story, or metaphor

this is worth a few read throughs
because you can't even catch everything the first time through

amazing
and going in my favorites


-Dream

[Not here]

thank you alot dream :)

[Willard Wells]

Explaining where you write from, for me is a no brainer. I write in softer, less colorful works. I usually provide a thought of love lost or won, but often you will see my working from a less natural place in my brain and sometimes dark. There is so much to this piece I don't know where to beginning beyond I liked it.

It has power and emotions even as I must read again to comprehend which you mentioned. Thanks for sharing.

[Not here]

thanks :) i appreciate it

[JayceeC]

David I have to be honest and tell you, all the rhyme has become a distraction and not in a good way for me. I snd when you use the same word but use it in another way it compounded the problem.

I read the first part over several times and it just feels like you are forcing the rhyme rather than choosing words for their meaning. "the bemoan" I have no idea what you mean here since bemoan is a verb. Some interal rhyme is fine when words are chosen for high impact not rhyme. This is just too hard to read and make sense of. "He is shown to every stone"--stones don't see and even dropping the word to means some unknown is showing him.
tone is getting overused? Not grasping it.
whether this has deeper meaning I can't get past what the nonsense does to my brain to get there with this one. Your work is long in epic fashion but that means you have to give your readers more clarity do the don't give up before they get started. If it doesn't make sense to you as a writer who knows the full intent, it will never make sense to your readers. Its hard to grasp a layered meaming if the surface is in chaos. The girdt person is troublesome and has the most issues. The second man only has one or two spots. The female is better too. The last you conclusion is definitely the best but you loosened the rhyme and focused on your message.
Honestly I almost gave up after the first man but skipped to the femsle and then went back to the second after I saw something worth the struggle. Go back and edit your opening part.

[Not here]

okay thanks i will

[JayceeC]

Let me know if you need help. I can send specifics for part one in a message instead of here.

[Not here]

i would appreciate that if you could

[JayceeC]

Let me know if you need help. I can send specifics for part one in a message instead of here.

[JayceeC]

I know you did not change a whole lot but this read much better with the few edits you did!

[Not here]

thanks :) im glad you think so