Learning to Count (1,2,3)

I hope nobody is like this, but I think we could all relate in some ways.

I learned to count in an odd way,

but I practiced constantly through the day.

It wasn't long before I became

a master of counting everyday. 

One was for the one father who left us alone,

Two was for the two siblings who shared my home,

Three was for the three cats that always roamed,

Four was for the four bars my mom left us for.

Five was for the families who turned us away,

Six was for the six days of the week that we prayed,

Seven was the seventh day when we went to church,

Eight were the eight prayers that didn't relieve hurt.

Nine was the nine bottles that sat on the wall,

Ten was all the times that I had to buy more.

Eleven (11) was the two ones, my siblings, who died,

Twelve is all the years that I constantly cried.

Thirteen are the men who left me astray,

Fourteen is the times that I have been played,

Fifteen are the hours of the day that I wait,

Sixteen is the year I thought I'd get my break. 

Seventeen is the year that I grew up a lot,

Eighteen are the months that i spent behind bars.

Nineteen is the months I have left to my life,

Twenty are the reasons I won't live to be a wife.

Life is unfair, cruel, and abusive,

but I've lived and found my own use for it.

So whatever happens in the months throughout

I'll always remember how I learned to count.

Reviews

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Clever poetry with emotions and life events weaved throughout,
Lonely and wanting to believe in hope.
Looking for the answers as life happens...

[Not here]

thank you josie :)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Your welcome! :)

[jemaral]

It feels so real.. the connection established between learning to count and significant life events and lessons is just amazing.. the use of light and simple aspects together with the heavy handed details breathes a unique life to the peice and for me was what grabbed my heart.. Truly a wonderful piece..

[Not here]

thank you very much :) im glad you liked it so much

[buterfligirl]

Quite a powerful poem and a great use of wording. It really brings the point across in a creative way. There is a spelling mistake in the line "sixteen is the year I though I'd get my break". "Though" I'm pretty sure should be "thought". But that's only a small mistake. Overall it was great.

[Not here]

okay thanks ill fix that really quick. :)

[Kimberlee]

What a beautiful poem, and so amazingly worded.

[Not here]

thank you very much :)

[Moonlight]

OH My God! This is a really heartfelt poem David. It is just so.... touching.
Wow.. um.. it has the great emotional factor.. and it is beautifully written.

To be honest, when I first read the line : "One was for the one father who left us alone,"
I was sort of caught off guard.

Great work. :)

[Not here]

thanks :) im glad you liked it

[Ishita Dixit]

Oh David!
This reached out straight to my heart.
I feel sorry for people who learn to count this way.
Very simply, you portrayed their lives flawlessly.
Kudos!

[Not here]

thank you :)

[Lavender Soya]

Brilliant! I love the rhyme scheme and array of remarkably chosen words. Kudos!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Absolutely fantastic I love this poem beautifully written well done!

[ocean_side]

Yeah, life is just a b***h of lessons, isn't it?

Great rhyme, flowed really nice. A very clear fight established in this piece as well.

All 'round great piece.

[foufa la perle]

I'll always remember how I learned to count.

If I could ever imagine a perfect way to describe life, it would be just the same you described it. I know that life is hard, and unfortunately I can't help much. But I need to tell you that if you could make till now, you'll be able to continue till the end. Your words made me believe in life.

Great job!