Breakthrough

What do you think? I'm trying to get back into my groove.

What do you call this? 

A breakup or a breakthrough?

A bulls-eye or a big miss?

A broken record or just new?

Some say I'm a masterpiece,

I just smile at their flattery.

Some say I'm a big disaster,

so why do they stay long after?

Emotions like fuel running through my veins;

Try to hold me down but it won't sway

my furious funneling of fearlessness for

anything that stands in my way. I'll bust down the door. 

I could be what I choose, when I choose, how I say it.

I'm tired of living in fear, hiding from daytime.

It's about time, overdue time, that I start rhymes

instead of sitting around, it's time I say it and spray it.

Rhyme schemes? Forget rhyme schemes.

This is my time, I'm my own king.

I roll through, just bowl through

any pin in my own road too.

Cold days, I just roll plays;

see Shakespeare, in his old years?

Didn't slow down, didn't take a bow,

until all of his work was finished. "Wow!"

Now me here, I'm no Picasso,

even if my work's similar as snow.

Snow flakes are just milkshakes

on steroids without all the taste.

But they're all so unique you say?

Just like my works I referenced, aye?

Agree? Disagree? Somewhere in the middle?

I'm sorry I can't argue with you or even piddle.

I got work to do, things to write, stuff to see.

Places to be, if you know what I mean.

So give me that mic, that pike, that stick.

Watch me stick the landing jumping out of this pit.

It's time for a breakthrough with a little bit catastrophe.

See ya when I land, but for now, this is all Me.

Author's Note

Getting back into my groove required a breakthrough.

Reviews

[dan]

david, this reads like a "here I am" declaration, and the thing I like most is that all feelings and thoughts expressed seem to be 100% genuine. It's common in poetry writing to embellish the statement of feelings; call it artistic license. But this piece is raw, boiled down to its bare essence, and that's a GOOD thing! I always attempt to keep my writes in the same raw state, but necessity (the mother of invention) sometimes compels a little artistic flourish to illustrate an emotion or feeling. I don't get that feeling very often when reviewing a poem. In my opinion? You should try to keep some of that quality in everything you write. And keep writing! Very nicely done. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good use of words.
"So give me that mic, that pike, that stick.
Watch me stick the landing jumping out of this pit.
It's time for a breakthrough with a little bit catastrophe.
See ya when I land, but for now, this is all Me."
I believe life is simple. You must like yourself or you will fail. No easy journey. All of us get tested. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[E.K.Donaldson]

Great imagery and metaphor. I really like the eighth stanza:
Agree? Disagree? Somewhere in the middle?
I'm sorry I can't argue with you or even piddle.
I got work to do, things to write, stuff to see.
Places to be, if you know what I mean.

Thanks for sharing!

[ashleymarie]

Jesus Christ dude.
You're amazing.
C;

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

This is like a metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly. I see your maturation here. And maturity implicates finding oneself wholly and being fine with it and others can take it or leave it. I like how it is read, like rap. Very nice!

[Deepika]

I admire the Eminent 'Don't care' Attitude that you've poured into this write! Enjoyed it..Keep writing :))

[Not here]

thats so cool! i love his raps :)

[Kamari's]

It's a nice poem though you need to hone your talent more

[Nene]

'Some say I'm a masterpeice
I just smile at their flattery'
I loved this line...
Thanx for sharing...
It was a nice poem

[Warren Daniel II]

Wow, this was a very honest poem I could sense the personal emotion that was put into it. These lines " So give me that mic, that pike, that stick.
Watch me stick the landing jumping out of this pit.
It's time for a breakthrough with a little bit
catastrophe.
See ya when I land, but for now, this is all Me." Were the perfect resolution which the poem needed.

[Katie]

I love your poem it was a great breakthrough !:)