-when or if feelings are strong there is no changing the style one chooses to adopt unless you are adept at it, but still the ear gets to be trained in a certain way, I am finding reading here, and people aren't always looking for a this or that style
-'homicide,' and 'psychopathic cliques' are rarer compared to words used in everyday workaday worlds; also 'comprised'
-very nice; I haven't had the burden of helping a lot of people without kindness given in return, but it does happen from time to time and it sounds frustrating...I'm sure your readers or audience as you get to finding one may take this as a warning to remember that things like this can happen, so beware
It sounds personal, bitter, and intense. At least partially true, I'm guessing. It was a long time ago, but I recall the awful experience of being bullied. He tormented me from about the age of twelve, up until sixteen, at which time I decided to punch back. Your poem seems to suggest that more than knuckle sandwiches are desired.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
You are indeed correct on all counts, my friend. :D
Oh my...tough ending i may say :) But sometimes, when being bullied there is simply no other way.... a very penetrating (in a good sense) writing. I think monster and man are both inside...we just let both sides have their turn...Awesome write !
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the review! I sorta have a Jekyll and Hide thing going on. It's confusing :/
9 Years Ago
Well, don't worry, i think that not only RL Stevenson had those issues :D we all can have the symtpo.. read moreWell, don't worry, i think that not only RL Stevenson had those issues :D we all can have the symtpoms.
Oh that's a really good poem for a 14 year old! I'm 13 and have a passion for writing as well. The t.. read moreOh that's a really good poem for a 14 year old! I'm 13 and have a passion for writing as well. The truth is, it doesn't matter what age you are to follow your dreams writing :D
9 Years Ago
I couldn't agree more! I started writing my three book series on here almost five years ago now when.. read moreI couldn't agree more! I started writing my three book series on here almost five years ago now when I was nine or ten. I was told to give up, that I was too young to write anything good. Well, LOOK AT ME NOW! :D
9 Years Ago
Yeah, don't listen to them! Nobody can stop you from following your dreams
Excellent work, I am amazed a 14 year old can write this way, I am pretty old and it taken me years just to express myself. Well done, bit deep for me.
Bullying happens to many, it destroys that hopeful and optimism that is natural within a person. I understood this poem as displaying the change in mind that happens after being abused - The strength and hardening. Being bullied myself as a kid, I remember taking it silently, but now that I read this poem I come to realize that it did change me. It was from these bullies that I learned to hate for the first time. Its so hard to forgive something so brutal and insensitive. Its like a sickness that keeps growing, slowly some victims will grow into bullies themselves. Others will simply be awoken to the meanness of humankind. I liked when you said "All the things I have endured, All my torment, I abhor." This poem is special. I enjoyed it and keep up the great writing. :) Nice to hear the voices of youth
Direct and hard hitting rendition of ones emotions when ones had enough of a particular senseless mania..such as the horrific world of bullying.. Beautiful work! I could relate a lot
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the review! And it's a shame you can relate a lot to this topic...
9 Years Ago
Well.. No one can choose what situation childhood dumps one in, just what we make of it is in our ha.. read moreWell.. No one can choose what situation childhood dumps one in, just what we make of it is in our hands. The helplessness seemed relate-able to a large degree. I liked your honesty to the emotion
I love this poem, I wouldn't change a word it's beautifully written, I particularly like:
"The only real solution's absolutely homicide.
All the things I have endured,
All my torment, I abhor.
I don't care about fitting in,
Or these psychopathic cliques."
Wonderful, incredibly relatable and well put in a down to earth but intelligent manor my favorite part without a doubt.
"I once helped a fellow who then smacked me farewell,
That's when I learned to just,
Leave people in Hell."
A perfect ending to the battle portrayed of misery this poor boy has received throughout his life, when all he ever did was love.
Thoroughly enjoyed this, one criticism I do have is that there are no gaps within the poem (bias of me) I am dyslexic so found it a little jumbled and difficult to read.
I will review your work if you send me a read request, I like to help writers get off of the ground, I will also suggest ideas for your work if needed.
Please note that I don't really like poetry... more..