When Things Are Grim

A little poem I have written to pick you up when things are grim.

I'm searching through emptiness,

Try to forget the torture in vain,

The shadow cast by the dark setting sun,

Will bring my sadness to an end.

My consciousness cries out

Through the fear and the doubt.

My words are dying in the night.

No darkness lasts forever.

When the scars of the past,

still live in your veins,

Sit back, light the match,

And watch the past burn down in flames.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[Dalton Holt]

"Sit back, light the match
And watch the past burn down in flames."
These were my favourite lines of the poem. It has a perfect rhythm, strong imagery, and interesting meaning. I liked the whole poem, though it's hard to understand exactly what the meaning is. It seems the narrator switches between being hopeful that his darkness will go away and to falling into despair that it will be there forever. I like this technique, even if it wasn't intentional. That's kind of how it is when you're depressed, sometimes you feel you'll push through and other times you feel it will never end.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review! I meant for the mood to change like that :)

[DarkArtz 0703]

oh gosh heheh that's amazing

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

That was enchanting, entrancing like that fire in the end that cleanses and heals.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for taking the time to review!

[Calliope]

Those last two lines are very satisfying on some internal level. I needed this, thank you. Brilliant write.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review!

[anonymous]

Wow this was deep! Your words flowed very smoothly. I recently just started writing poetry so check out my work if you'd like! I will happily accept any feedback.

[Thegoodgatasby]

Your ending is very good. It pulls the whole thing together I think. Well done, Grace :)

[Jamestown]

Great write thanks for sharing.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review!

[Roshan Nair]

Brief yet powerful ! true to the description you have given to the piece!
Favorite line:
Sit back, light the match,

And watch the past burn down in flames.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review!

[Roshan Nair]

do check out my page. id highly appreciate your views on it

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

I really like how many different ways this poem can be interpreted, it can be seen as positive or negative which is truly magical.

"My consciousness cries out

Through the fear and the doubt." - Adore this line, keep up the good work!

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you so much!

[Crazycatgirl_10]

Wow this is really good. I think a lot of people can rate to this.

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you very much!