A poem my 7th grade crush wrote me.

A little poem that my seventh grade crush wrote me, it is a fantasy poem, I like it :D

One by one, the white rose petals open.
My daily torture is now past.
Like an endless stream of dreams about you, our time flows into silence.
When I am lost on my short path, you are my guiding light.

Your smile dissolved the cloudiness in my heart.
How many pieces are forgotten like a dream?
Even if the setting sun were to take away this moment,
Our two hearts overlap.

My feelings for you have limitless depth,
It is truly like destiny in my hands.
Grasping you again and again; Losing you again and again
And so by chance we meet again.

My heart longs for you, just like the flowers long for rain.
The night makes today into tonight,
I wish that our two hearts were one
This is what I wish so hard for.

One by one, the white rose petals scatter over time.
My feelings for you will never fade.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

I admit, I had to read this one several times, and am still noticing little things... I really like the way this one feels dark, yet romantic and dreamy... can feel heaviness, yet enchanting breeze fluttering throughout.. the flow is beautiful and depth is moving... have yet to figure out link between what I interpret from writing and the title, but I like when writers make me think... and when they can also make me FEEL, like this one did, then it is pretty darn awesome!.. well done!

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you so much for reading it and I'm glad you liked it!

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome, it was my pleasure..

[Not here]

a 7th grader seriously wrote this? thats really good. I liked this.

[Clarissssaaaa]

wow. just--- wow. i like the part where she wrote :'... grasping you again and again; losing you again and again.' maybe because i can relate though.

[Ryan Henderson]

lol I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review!

[Roshan Nair]

7th grader wrote this? my word, its brilliant! The feeling of tenderness and closeness both come through strongly in this piece.
Great work :) cheers

[Ryan Henderson]

Thanks for the review!

[Moonlight]

It is really a beautiful piece! Wow! The feeling of love is a journey with many ups and downs... but in the end, all that matters is how you feel towards that one person. I think this poem nailed this concept. Beautifully written. :)

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you for the review!

[Luna Portum]

Really nice with hints of darkness. Love it.

[David Ung]

This is well written. It has some sort of dark thing going on behind the romance and I love that. Keep up the good work. :)

[Cool Girl]

Wow! That is so sweet that she wrote it for you:)

[Ryan Henderson]

Yeah, thank you for the review!

[Cool Girl]

you are so very welcome:)

[Kyline Freed]

I love this poem, it seems like it was kinda wrote like 'I know I'm going to die soon' sorta way if you think about it, but everything to me a can trace towards death so anyways it was rly good and rly romantic. :P

[Ryan Henderson]

lol thank you for the review! That girl always was sort of suicidal, so it seems like the way you interpreted it was very realistic :/

[BlankCypher]

I really like the feel of this one man, its dark romance theme is really appealing!
The imagery is flawless and each sentence flows effortlessly into the next.
Fantastic work dude, keep it up!

[Ryan Henderson]

Thank you, BlankCypher!

[Mabel]

I really like this. It`s hauntingly sweet.

The author seems really hopeful, devoted and protective. At the same time, she (?) doesn`t seem to be afraid of the consequences that time, death and destiny can bring into a relationship.

She once suffered with time ("My daily torture is now past"), and she is not afraid of destiny because she feels like she can control it ("It is truly like destiny in my hands ") and now she knows she doesn`t need to fear it anymore. She is no longer worried about loss (death?) because she knows they will meet again, ("Grasping you again and again; Losing you again and again/And so by chance we meet again.")

And since the author has learned to cope with all of this, she will wait, patiently for her loved one ("One by one, the white rose petals scatter over time / My feelings for you will never fade")

[Ryan Henderson]

My, my Mabel, you certainly know how to interpret poetry! When the girl who sent me this gave it to me, I read it and interpreted it much the same as you did! You are one hundred percent right with your interpretations, she did suffer with time, and she was not afraid of what could happen, because she knew (or felt) as if she could control her fate. Very good may to take this piece, Mabel!