Trapped to Freedom

This is a short story i wrote from when i was back in school. I won first prize so i hope that you enjoy it!

Alone. Completely cut off from society. No loved ones to comfort you and no friends to watch over you in your time of need. The smell of sweaty inmates grow stronger as you push up against them as you play a quick game of basketball or even if you are in the bleachers watching them. Sometimes on a sunny day it is even worse because the sun beams down on them like a never ending flame in the dark pits of hell.
Hate comes at you from every angle and you are just trapped like a pig to slaughter in four large walls with razor sharp while on top. These four walls separate you from freedom. Everybody inside of the prison are sinners, there is not one innocent body inside. Even the guards are not completely innocent and the only thing that separates them from the convicts is the badge. Just one shiny chrome piece of metal.
Despite the fact of having the guards there to protect you, there is still that feeling where you have never felt so scared in your entire life. Every single day you wake up thinking if that day is going to be your last. The sweet and silent life you had once known had been replaced with the sound of fighting and shouting and the odd gunshot from when the guards shoot at the ground to break up the prisoners. You feel like a completely different man after you have watched a man bleed out like an erupting volcano.
  But then after many years of planning and many years of hoping, you finally get over the wall. Then you regret your decision and fear strikes every single part of your body because you know that there is no turning back. You run for your life as you make your desperate break for freedom and the sounds of dogs at your heels and the sound of police sirens in the distance causes your heart to beat ten times faster than usual and you freeze, scared to run incase you get a bullet in your head from one of the police officers that is pursuing you. 
After a while that fear turns into paranoia, then eventually that paranoia turns you into one crazy man that will not stop at anything in his attempted flight. You become something far worse than who you were back in the prison because needing money you will rob a store, needing transport you will rob a car.
Courageously running for your life, trying to find shelter so that you will not get caught and on red alert knowing not to trust anybody. Constantly thinking if that cute girl over the road is staring at you because she fancies you or because she recognizes you.
Not being able to stay in one spot for too long because the police will be drawn to you is not a way to live. Scared and on the run, paranoid and on the run is definitely a lifestyle that nobody wants. Your friends become your enemies and the world becomes your nemesis. Everybody in the country is out looking for you. Then you hear the sound you don’t want to hear. FREEZE. Then another sound you do not want to hear. BANG! Then everything goes cold. Everything goes black. Everything goes silent.

Reviews

[paperplanespaper]

nicely written, kept me drawn in.

[Erinne S.]

This was a very well-written story. I liked the way you described everything. I could easily picture the scene and the emotion behind your story.
There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing difficult to fix. Just a quick proofread and you'll catch them. Overall a great write!

~Erinne

[Alexa Tasch]

Very creative! I love the style in which this is written, how it makes the reader feel like it is about them or that they are there. Great write!!!

[Jo March]

Very very well written. I don't normally read stories but this was very enjoyable.

[DarrinReay]

thank you very much! i'm glad you enjoyed it.