Happily Ever After

You see the girl who is quiet?
Well she really needs some help,
Cause when she stares into the mirror,
She doesn't recognize herself.

Her heart and spirit are broken,
Along with her beautiful smile,
So maybe i can come save her,
Cause she has been waiting a while.

The darkness of the night,
Resembles how she might feel,
Because the reality where she lives,
Doesn't feel so real.

But after each storm,
Is followed by sunshine,
And that is when this special girl,
Will finally become mine.

And then she became happy,
And her life was filled with laughter,
And like every fairytale,
We lived happily ever after.

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

i'm that girl right now. my heart is broken and i don't recognize myself. great write :)

[Marissa Brazzell]

this poem kind of reminds me of myself.

[DarrinReay]

Aw :( I hope you are alright!

[Marissa Brazzell]

i am thanks for caring.

[afra]

awwwww this is really sweet and sad at the same time ....i love it ....good job

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much! :)

[Chesney W.]

This is very beautiful. Like Cinderella, from rags to riches. Wonderful write! I love this!
-Chesney Chey(:

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it! :)

[Chesney W.]

you're welcome

[rnuff]

This is so wonderful, I enjoyed this. loved your last 2 stanza'x the best. Awesome write.

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much!

[JiDonnelly]

N'aww this is ever so beautiful(:
The ending melted me heart, your understanding of females is adorable.
I love and enjoy your work everytime!
Keep it up sweet.

-JiDonnelly'

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much,
every girl deserves to find somebody who can make her forget that her heart was ever broken! I guess at times i wanna be that person:P

[JiDonnelly]

bless you ever so much!

-JiDonnelly'

[Dr. Wood ?]

I agree with DrD.....The syllable count needs attention, it is a good poem with some really special lines, but if it is to be read with rhythm..it needs tightening up to make it flow

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much!

[DrD]

Light and sparkly, the rhyming coming a bit more fluid than your other work. Be careful with syllbale count but I liked this by its simplicity and easy flowing description.

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I think this part is really relatable to a lot of girls:

"You see the girl who is quiet?
Well she really needs some help,
Cause when she stares into the mirror,
She doesn't recognize herself.

Her heart and spirit are broken,
Along with her beautiful smile"

A lot of girls are like that, kind of lost in the world, completely broken, don't know what to do or who to turn to... If every girl like that had a sweet guy like you who would write poetry about her and come save her and make her life better, the world would be a better place.

I think that this part is my favorite though...

"And that is when this special girl,
Will finally become mine.

And then she became happy,
And her life was filled with laughter,
And like every fairytale,
We lived happily ever after. "

The only thing that I saw.. In the second to last stanza, I think the rhythm might be a little off. I don't really know if the word and is needed there, it could just be:

"But after each storm,
Is followed by sunshine,
That is when this special girl,
Will finally become mine."

Just a suggestion, it's your poem, and it's perfectly beautiful on its own(: great job with this!

[DarrinReay]

Aw thank you very much! :)
and i agree, it does sound much better like that, i'm going to change it! :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Okay, and you're welcome(: great job with this!

[Faffy]

Loved this thank you :) 100/100

[DarrinReay]

Thank you very much! :)