Little Boy

This is different that other stuff i have wrote. I am not too sure if i am good at this so please let me know what you think, should i carry on doing this or go back to my old stuff?

When i was just a little boy

There was a life in my head

When i used to fall asleep

I would dream about happiness

And dream about love and peace

But one day that little boy grew up

And instead of love and peace and happiness

There was hate and anger and war

That little boy was flew away

And trained into a perfect soldier

So that he would one day fight for his country

And he would carry his flag

To the grave if he must

It would be the flag that he loved

It would be the flag that he would trust.

Reviews

[JiDonnelly]

I have to say this is so far by far my personal favourite.
I read it over four times before commenting, it is such a beautiful short story.
I simply adore this piece Darrin!

-JiDonnelly'

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

This was very touching and heartfelt. Very true. Some young boys wish for a happy life, but it turns out much different once they grow up. Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes that may just be a good thing. If life was planned, it would be boring. Life is always well-spent when spontaneous, unplanned things happen. That's the beauty of life. Wonderful write by the way! Keep up the good work!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

This part was my favorite...

"But one day that little boy grew up
And instead of love and peace and happiness
There was hate and anger and war
That little boy was flew away
And trained into a perfect soldier"

One correction though, is flew maybe supposed to be flown?

Anyways, you did a beautiful job with this and it really tells a great story. I think this is probably what a lot of people who are soldiers/ plan to become soldiers/ were soldiers... went through and felt, and you did a great job of describing it(:

[Marissa Brazzell]

I really like this poem because it reminds me of all the anger i have built up inside and i just want to let it all go.

[Ella]

I like it... it's really good, but really sad. I mean, to think of how bad life gets some times... I have no other comments, because it is awesome :3

[Dr. Wood ?]

It really is a bit garbled..The sentiment behind this is good but you have to think of whether it is a rhyming poem or not..if it is to be a rhyme then it needs work on the syllable count...if not it needs cutting in some way to make it punchier. Maybe by altering from the first person...'The boy had life inside his head...his dreams were filled with happiness....