Prologue

Prologue

 

 

The silence of the forest was shattered by the wailing of a small child in its depths. Held in shaking arms, it was desperately shushed by its mother, rocked to and fro in an effort to bring calm, to tell it that everything was going to be ok. But safety was a leisure that lied far from the shadows of that forest, the mother knew it, and from her the baby knew it too, and cried. Shadows moved around the pair, taking forms of garbed and painted men that stalked the forest like animals. Low to the ground, they kept their ring like wolves protecting their pups, shoulder to shoulder with eyes gleaming bright in the darkness. The trees leaned away from their presence, weaving branches together to create an entangled wall around the survivors, to ‘[]protect them from the cracks and shouts just behind the shadows, drawing nearer.

 

The darkness bloomed red as a lit arrow shot through the darkness and pierced the wall. The cries grew louder as the tree screamed, and even the protective warriors winced at the agony in the cry. Immediately more arrows followed the first and soon the night was ablaze, casting shadows that stretched and groped for any life they could catch.

The wall gave way as men, garbed in cold metal and leather stormed the clearing, firelight flickering cruelly off their raised weapons and sharp armour. With a war cry they charged in unison towards the small group of survivors, who huddled around the woman and her child with unexpected ferocity.

 

Chaos broke open as the two parties met each other in the burning clearing. The odds of the battle were always one sided, advances weaponry crippling even the tenacity of the stranger, who fell under the slashing metal of their swords and arrows. Blood painted arcs in the clearing as both soldiers and tribesmen were slain. A lifeless body slumped to the ground in front of the mother, the jagged slash that bared his ribs dowsing her with scarlet blood. The baby screamed and the voice of the mother joined it in the night, drawing the attention of the last warrior.

 

Kneeling alone in a circle of his fallen brothers, the aged man lifted his weapon to his lips and blew. An old flute carved from wood, the sound was a pure drop that resonated soulfully throughout the forest, driving the shadows back momentarily. The world silenced for an eerie second, the trees blowed yet no sound could be heard, until there was a pop in the ears of every man and woman as the world came back into focus. The enemy wavered slightly before surging forward again, the front soldier raising his sword, swinging it down with enough brutality to cleave the old man in two, to his waist. He died with a smile on his lips, hidden by the bloodstained flute which he refused to release.

The crying of the baby was what brought the attention back to the clearing, the again the front solider turned with his sword raised to silence the interference and its mother. Before the weapon could fall, the solider fell first, as a black spear erupted through his chest. Lifted off his feet, he was shaken like a child’s ragdoll, nothing more than an annoyance as the lifeless corpse was tossed across the clearing to sprawl at the base of a tree. The roots hungrily laced over the body and tugged it underground as the soil gave way.

 

The world took a collective breath as all eyes turned to the new threat, soldiers raised their swords and the mother hugged her child closer, lips moving in silent prayer. A Unicorn, furred coat black as burnt coals had stepped into the clearing. Its head towered above even that of the tallest of men and the darkness of its eyes sucked all the light out of the clearing. The fires went out and the breath was released as slowly, wraiths appeared amongst the trees. Unicorns of all shades, from purest white to grey the colour of a snow-chocked stream in winter. They’re hooves were of purest gold, and the lengths of their horns could rival that of a man’s arm, coiled tightly into a weapon of deadly beauty.

 

There was no chaos in this battle, it was a silent massacre as the Unicorns spread and ghosted on silent hooves, horns flashing and teeth pointed and rowed like needles grated and ripped. There was a deadly and terrifying grace in the vengeance of the Unicorns, those who had come to protect at the calling of their Keeper.

Friend was no longer distinguishable for foe and it was no longer a priority as men scrambled over the corpses of their enemies and comrades alike to escape. None were so fortunate, and were either felled by the primal beasts or strangled by the trees, the very forest coming to life to dole out its vengeance, greedy after the blood that had already been drenched into its soil.

 

The trees wore necklaces of blood by the time the last of the soldiers had been slaughtered. The horns of the Unicorns gleamed wet, though not a drop of blood dared mar their purest coats. The trees whispered of events in hushed tones, of the red tinged night, and of the two sets of lungs that continued to breathe in the forsaken clearing. The mother and her child remained, hugged against the trunk of the tree by its drooping branches, saved from the touch but not the sight of the massacre. The baby, exhausted by its own fear had been lulled into an uneasy sleep, held close to its mother’s chest. The tree released its protection as the fallen pair where approached by the black Unicorn, it’s intelligent black eyes cold. The last two members of the Kimdrel tribe drew together as the black being paused and snorted, breath misting in the suddenly chill air. A semi-circle formed behind the scene, the warrior beasts silently watching their leader for his decision.

 

The human mother drew a quick breath and tilted her chin to face the Unicorn, though soon found her face lowered with tears in her eyes, unable to face the beauty of the creature after seeing such bloodshed. It was a terrifying moment as the Unicorn, copying her movement, lowered its head, tapered horn a hairs breadth from her chest, dangerously close to her heart. Her breath caught, as did her heart as the nostrils of the Unicorn quivered, sniffing at the coveted bundle in her arms.

“Please,” she begged; her voice no more than a hoarse whisper. The Unicorn raised its sharp gaze to meet hers, its twisted horn scratching a thin line up her cheek, drawing a single drop of blood which balanced on the tip of the horn, before splashing onto the baby’s forehead soundlessly.

“Please, do not harm him,” she tried again, afraid to lose the gaze of the Unicorn.

 

Slowly, the black eyes closed and the creature leaned forward until the tip of its horn rested on the forehead of the mother, it was a movement of intense control, the show so tender that not a single drop of blood was spilled at the touch. A ring of light quivered from the tip of the horn, enveloping the human pair. A shaky breath was released as the mother also closed her eyes, surrendering herself to the touch of the Unicorn, letting the warm light enwrap her in all its purity.

The trees whispered in excitement as light flooded the clearing, a wind stirred and all of the beasts shifted eagerly, heads tossing and hooves stomping on flesh and dirt. When the light faded it did so slowly, softly buzzing out of existence until only the night and the Unicorns remained. Now there were two new Unicorns in the clearing, ringed by the dead. A fallen mother, creamy white with the shadings of the first pink sunset in her silken fur; and by her side a little solider boy, silver as the water of a tumbling waterfall from his horn to his tail. Golden eyes flashed open and blinked, taking in a world which suddenly seemed so very different, and on his side he felt the warm muzzle of his mother gesturing for him to stand.

 

Soundlessly and following the shadowed leader, the Unicorns disappeared one by one into the night, and in their trail followed the newest of the Unicorns, silently and ghostly as the rest. And in the clearing the old man still smiled, and the shadows were released to gorge on flesh and blood.

 

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

The first paragraph should always grab the readers' attention, and it's definitely intriguing, but I hope you will go back and rework the sentence structure so that it is more active and less passive (less use of the word "was"). Also, if the shadows seem menacing, maybe the analogy should be wolves surrounding their prey rather than protecting their pups? The ideas of the warrior unicorns, the fighting trees, and the transformation are all really great, I can't wait to see where you will take it from here! This first draft feels good in the ideas, but I definitely encourage you to revise and edit after you have finished the entire first draft!

[DarkTrick]

Thanks so much for the helpful review.
I'll definitely be going back to edit and rework everything once my first draft is finished, especially that first paragraph, so thank you for your critique. I do hope you can continue reading and reviewing, your support means so much to me.

[Sasha Leigh]

I agree with the previous review and would also suggest a small pitch to give an idea of the book's content? I like the writing, I like the ideas, but would love a general idea of what the premise is :)