No Title

 

Fearing shadows of the unknown

Will never compare to what you've shown

Bottomless holes of meaningless hate

Walking the path of a closed gate

 

Thinking its morning

When its only afternoon

Not seeing the warning

That night comes too soon

 

Taking the time to look out at the stars

Wondering why they are out so far

Reasoning takes place of faith

Truth is now just a waste

 

Thinking its morning

When its really afternoon

Not seeing the warning

When night comes too soon

 

Misunderstood values of hurt and pain

Never stop bleeding to the point of insane

Walking the narrow path of you fate

Loosing power over things you hate

 

Vain is meaning nothing

Though it overcomes you

Six feet under rotting

But you now know the truth

Reviews

[Dominick]

This one is kind of a hard read. After a few times through it seemed better but punctuation would really help the reader get through this. A bit of contradiction at parts which I'm not sure was intentional or not like:
"Thinking its morning
When its only afternoon
Not seeing the warning
That night comes too soon"

Sounds like your saying I thought I had $5 but I only had $10... 'only' being the odd word

"Misunderstood values of hurt and pain Never stop bleeding to the point of insane" -- sounds forced as in just thrown together to create a rhyme.

"When its only afternoon" ----- its should be it's

Besides the already mentioned, it's a good piece with some potential to be better. Keep up the good work.

[Tiffany Blair]

i personally think this is a very good write and read.. i really understand what you mean by
"Thinking its morning

When its really afternoon

Not seeing the warning

When night comes too soon"
my favorite line is when you say ----- "reasoning takes place of faith"