Heart

Beating like the sound of thunder.

A smile that shines like no other.

for the warm feeling you give me,

 is better than the rays of sun shining.

Your body glows like a beautiful rainbow

after a deadly passing thunderstorm.

for you are the warm angel.

For when you smile to me,

I can see a lovely sea of peace and a golden stream of sweet.

I plead thee listen to me as

I call forth you an honest cue to smile.

As it truly is the one cure to any sickness.

.

For you are the heart's greatest witness to love.

And love I shall give to you for your happiness shall become new with the simple words of “I love you."

Reviews

[Amanda Worthington]

Awww that was very sweetly written and I did really like it, but I noticed a few errors and have a few suggestions;
in the second line I think it would sound better to say "A smile that shines like no other" instead of "A smile shines like no other"
in the third line you say "A warmth feeling" I'm guessing you mean "A warm feeling"
in the eighth line, in my mind it sound better to say "I call you forth" instead of "I could forth you" either way works though.
and lastly, try and break up the longer lines. The lines suddenly get kind of long and I think could be shorter to help the flow of the poem.
Those are just my suggestions though. Feel free to question them or ask for clarification :-)

[D'arcy The Bear]

thank you so much for your review. what would be the best way to break up the lines?

[Amanda Worthington]

this line "Your body glows like a beautiful rainbow after a deadly passing thunderstorm." I think should be
"Your body glows like a beautiful rainbow
after a deadly passing thunderstorm"

This line, "For when you smile to me, I can see a lovely sea of peace and a golden stream of sweet." I think should be
"For when you smile to me,
I can see a lovely sea of peace
and a golden stream of sweet"

This line, "I plead thee listen to me as I call forth you in an honest cue to smile because it is the one cure to any sickness." I think should be
"I plead thee listen to me
as I call you forth in an honest cue
to smile becuase
it is the one cure to any sickness"

This line, "For you are the heart's greatest witness to love. And love I shall give to you for your happiness shall become new with the simple words of “I love you." " I think should be,
"For you are the heart's greatest witness to love.
And love I shall give to you,
for your happiness shall become new
wit the simple words of "I love you." "

:)