Pain Demands To Be Felt

There was a knock at the door causing me to look up from the letter in my hands. I wiped at the tears that were streaming down my face.

“Coming.” My voice shook as the noise sounded again. I stood slowly making my way to the door as I hiccuped away the pain. The knocking got louder as my hand gripped the door handle. I looked up from the spot on the floor and stared into the mirror I kept in the entryway, it showed what I knew it would, my puffy eyes and reddened nose that stood out against my pale face.

I sniffled pulling open the door to reveal a leather clad back. I let out a small squeak bringing my hand too my mouth trying to hold in my emotions. He turned looking at me in confusion which soon turned to anger as he pulled me into his arms hugging me tightly to him. I collided with his chest as the tears began to flow again.

“Who do I need to kill?” He asked rubbing my hair down, my tears soaking through his gray button up. I clutched his shirt tightly in my fists as he backed us inside using his foot to shut the door. “C’mon Chels, you have to tell me how I can help.” His voice pleading but all I could do was cry. I pulled away from his shirt looking into his eyes. God I am such an idiot. Here I am blubbering like an idiot. I stared straight ahead looking at the make up stains on his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, your shirt..” he laughed cutting me off.

“Your balling your eyes out and you’re concerned with my shirt?” He smirked down at me. I forced a small smile as he looked at me concerned. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?” he whispered holding me at arms length. I turned walking towards the couch where I left the letter. I grabbed handing it to him as a plopped on the couch clutching my knees. He read the dreaded words out loud.

“Dear Chelsea Richards,

We regret to inform you of the passing of your father  Kyle  Richards. He said that you were the only one that need be informed of the unfortunate circumstances. I apologize for the gruesome facts that I am about to convey.

Your father was tortured for three weeks by men that we believe are in search of government information pertaining to some of our foreign operations. Your father was a very respected member of the C.I.A. with extensive knowledge of our operations. To our knowledge he didn’t give them any information that they could actually use, which is why the torture lasted so long. We found him two days ago in a hotel room with several limbs removed including his legs and  right arm.  A few weeks before we had received a recording telling us where to contact you and  what we were meant to send you. Attached are the contents that your father requested we send.  

We are all very sorry for your loss.

Anderson Manning”

He gulped staring at the letter as his hand shook. Slowly his eyes moved to my trembling form tears still streaming down my face. His hands reached for the envelope next to me taking out what was left. He examined the pictures of me and my father, flipping through them all as he paused at one.

“Jace what is it?” I asked wondering why the sudden pause. I waited for him to answer, eventually just pulling myself up from the couch. I looked at the picture it was an old one of the two of us we were huddle by a campfire smiling and next to us sat my father. We had the same deep blue eyes. I smiled slightly remembering that weekend. “You remember how hard we had to work to make take off for that trip? He thought we were crazy for wanting to go so close to winter.”  He smirked looking down at me.

“Are you okay?” He questioned.

“Okay with what part?” I replied staring at him as if he had grown a second head. “The part where my father was brutally tortured killed and dismembered? Or where he was a CIA agent for my entire life? Or how he could’ve died god knows how many times before this?” Frustration slowly building. I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to calm myself. “God! Jace, He’s gone!” I yelled throwing my arms up in exasperation. Jace gripped my arms tightly forcing me to stand still. I looked up at him, willing myself to take in deep breaths. I just needed a moment a single moment to forget this day. So i threw my arms around him allowing the pain to encompass me, after all pain demands to be felt.