Introducing......awww forget it

"I dont cry anymore." I blink at the graying man in front of me. "I decided it had no use to me. All it really does is make me gross and splotchy." 

"So what your telling me is that you find no purpose for that release of pain?" Dr. Watson always does this. He acts as if everything i say is wrong and that my band against pain and emotion hinders me in my healing process. 

"Yes! That is exactly what im saying. I dont want to feel the pain. F**k! I dont want to come see you everyday either! I see no purpose in seeing you when i could be learning something important in class!" I scream as i stand grabbing my bag and stomping off to my 5th period class.

Sad part I'll be forced to return to his sweaty office that smells like bengay and prune juice. By national standards i would be considered insane or unstable, but hey everyone has something right. The truth of the matter is that I am just trying to get through my senior year so i can get the hell out of dodge, literally. Why the hell should these ......people care about whats wrong with me?

"Amanda Moore. Im quite sure you should still be in Mr. Crayner's office until 6th period." Vice Principal Sanders yelled as I stomped past his office.

"And I'm quite sure I'm done 'talking' about my problems with that old fart." I said turning around to face him as i continue to exit the main office. I walked to my 5th period class plopping into my seat in the back of the room. No one makes eye contact, no one asks questions, no one says anything.

Amanda Moore, thats me, 17 years old graduating in 2 months. I'm not one of the people who will be missed, at least not by the teachers or principal or guidance counselors.......we never really saw eye to eye. 

Friends? 

I hung out with the tweakers. 

Why? 

Simple they don't ask questions they simply crave the high. 

Me? 

No I've never craved that high, my high involves blood and razors and the feeling of control over it. I'm the only one who can make it happen and can then stop doing it. Don't get me wrong I have the connections of every other druggie but I am the one that gets the most action because they know how ever much they pay for is the amount they will get.

"Amanda Moore to the office. Amanda Moore to the office." Vice Principal Sanders voice came scratchy over the loud speaker. I didn't move other than to raise my hand to answer the question that Mr. Crayner had asked.

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

funny and well observed, love the line about bengay and prune juice, although I don`t know what bengay is, it sounds great. And this is real, honest writing - well done.