Prologue

I couldn't stop staring in the mirror i didn't look like myself at all nor did i feel like it. I hadn't been myself since the end of school, i use to wear what i wanted but now i wore what they did i went from not caring to caring what everybody thought and in the end because of that i lost the guy i love and my friends i became the one thing i hated the most in the world, i became one of the preppy snobs i see at school and on the beaches i lived as a outsider and when i out inside for once i became something i wasn't and in the end i guess this is who i was really meant to be. If rudes was me then i wouldn't have lost track of her i went from being a punk.emo rocker girl to miss queen bee miss preppy pants, i was no longer rubes like my best friend that i lost use to call me now i was ruby the girl with the world under her feet the girl who had every guy falling all over but, i only wanted one. The only thing that was left of the old me was the clothing in my closet and the neon pink strip in my hair i wish i could just close my eyes and be me because this girl wasn't working out. I did this all to get the guy me and my well my ex best friend all said two weeks and if i didn't have him then then he wasn't worth it and some how on that road two weeks turned in to the whole summer. I closed my eyes holding back the tears i couldn't cry i had to be strong i was the one who mess up who destroyed everything, i just got sucked in to the life of them it was so different and for once i really did want to be on the inside and i wanted to stay there but, what i forgot was i was meant for the outside and now my life is ruined i'm broken and i have nobody here for me just at that moment my cat sunny or sunshine i called him both jumped up on my dresser and meowed like he knew what i was think i pushed back my hair when it fell in to my face and looked down at sunshine."Its time to be myself again" i said and patted his head before turning to the closet. I almost ripped my blue jean shorts off and white tank i hated these clothes and if i could ever get my friends back i need to be myself again i wasn't going to be queen bee anymore i was giving up the crown for the real people who mattered. I grabbed the closest thing to me a pair of black skinny denim pants feature rips on the kneesand slipped in to them and buttoned them and i couldn't hold back the smile i felt better already getting in to my old clothing i grabbed one of my fav tees a fitted grey tee that falls at the hips and has a V-neck. Front screen features a skull, safety pins, razorblades. roses, daggers and a web, my smile got bigger and i grabbed my black converse and slipped my feet in without socks laced them up and walked over to the dresser opened a draw and pulled out black nail color and eye liner with black eyeshadow. I slowly waiped away the pink blush lip stick and eye shadow i lined my eyes put on the black eye shadow and painted my lips with a rose red color. I painted my nails in a rush and i was done i was robes again. Sunshine meowed and started to purr and in the second i was happy again but, i had more things to think about getting mitchell back getting dee to talk to me again and winning back syd. I was ready to finish what i started. Just then my mom walked in."I know your still not re-" i cut her off before she could finish."It all started to weeks before the end of school...." i was ready to tell her everything.