Just Pretend

I can't help but remember

All the times we were together

Now you're gone

A phantom

A fleeting memory

My heart is more than broken

I thought I was over it

But I'm not

Its all just pretend

The smile on my face

The laugh in my throat

The sparkle in my eyes

Its not real

I'm a void

The growing chasm of grief

I lost everything

Everything that could've been

Never knowing what it would've been

Only knowing what is

I'm so empty 

Nothing fills the holes

The hole in my heart;

It cannot be patched

The hole in my gut;

It cannot be filled

The emptiness

It sits in my chest

It grows and grows

I want to be numb

I want to forget

Forget that you were there

Because I am a fool

And I fell in love with you

Now I'm crumbling to pieces

Too sad to cry

The grief is killing me

Its all just pretend you know

That swagger and smirk

That sarcasm and wit

I forgot what I'm fine stands for

Its all just pretend 

The only thing that's real 

Is how I feel

I miss what could've been

I miss you

Now you're gone

And I'm playing a game

Playing my sad songs

Cause I can't bear the silence

I'm so empty 

So sad

It was over before it even began...

Author's Note

I would like to know what you think. I'm okay with grammar. But I just want to know what you all think of my poetry.

Reviews

[willweb]

What I think is I know this feeling deeply. Your poem feels like a stream of consciousness poem. It feels like it just took off and started writing and you allowed your pen to take you to the end. But I must say, I know this a bit older, not sure if it is real or not but...I have been there and it does get better with time.