Redemption

A disgraced warrior with a tragic past reminisces about his life in his final moments.

 

 

Redemption

 

Remus gazed up at the sky as he lay on his back dying; the sun was setting in the west its light setting the sky ablaze with colours of rich amber and golden yellow. So perfect Remus thought to himself as he felt the hands of unconsciousness claw at his mind threatening to overcome him with every passing moment. He reached out weakly for the arrows that protruded from his chest; they were as long as his fore arm, their thick triangular heads had punched through his armour with ease. Such a perfect way to die. It was a good death, to die in battle. An honourable death.

He let his hand run over the soft feathery shafts of the arrows and traced them back to the point where they had entered his body. He let out a cough as blood began to build up in his mouth; it tasted coppery and bitter to the taste. It snaked its way down from the side of his mouth, to drip off his chin. Remus turned his head slightly; he let his gaze fall upon the men around him.  They lay strewn across the field, their blood mixing with the damp soil turning it dark shade of crimson.

Many of them lay dead, their faces ashen, horror and fear were the last emotions they had felt and now their bodies resembled that very image. Perhaps some still lived but Remus doubted that, he had been thorough. His years of warfare had honed his skill with the blade until it was as though death himself would envy him. He would always feel guilty for it, he had not planned to take their lives; but his hand had been forced. There’d been a reason this time…

 

A cool gentle breeze washed over his face, he let out a sigh as he enjoyed the simple pleasure as though it was a glass of exquisite wine. He had never appreciated the beauty of the world until now. Another gust of wind blew over his face; it was as though a gentle pair of hands were caressing his old scarred face. Remus let out a sigh as he saw her standing there. A girl no more than eighteen stood above him, her long flowing blonde hair blew in the wind wildly. Her elegant features   complimenting her sleek body. Her blue eyes sparkled in the dying light like sapphire.

“I’m sorry” he tried to whisper, but all he managed was a painful gurgle. His lungs had begun to fill up with blood. The women looked down at him, sorrow evident in her eyes. A pained smile broke across her neutral expression. Remus felt his heart lurch; it pained him to see her like this. Oh he had loved her so, to see her standing before drove daggers in to his heart more than any man ever could. “I’m sorry he tried to mutter again but all that was heard was an untranslatable gurgle. She was there, always there. Reminding him of the past... Perhaps she would forgive him in time. Perhaps not.

A feeling of loss and fear crept in to his heart; he cried out in pain for just a brief moment, the women’s features seemed to soften at his pain. Remus stared in to her eyes and he felt her judgemental stare fall heavily upon him. Tears welled at his eyes, one tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. She wasn’t really there he knew, she merely existed in the ethereal realm; but her memory lingered...

 She had died long ago. She had been killed during a bandit raid on their village. Remus had arrived too late. He had found her broken body; he had taken her in to his arms. He had stood there, tears in his eyes, grief threatening to overwhelm him. She had smiled and whispered in to his ear “forgive them Remus”. Then her soul had departed and entered another plain of existence, and left only a lifeless husk behind.

Tears began to stream down Remus’s face as he remembered the very moment her body had gone limp. His world had finally ended as he knew it, his chance of a normal life over. His child that had yet to be born forever lost.  He had stayed with her well in to the night then at dawn he had cremated her, he had her ashes scattered. Hatred had gripped him as he watched the priest scatter the ashes, pure unrelenting hatred. It burrowed deep down in to his soul and had found it wanting.

It had taken Remus ten years to find the bandits; but he had found them like he had always known he would. All thought of forgiveness had long since died, the emotion completely overridden by his raw hatred for the world. He had killed those men as he had killed the others merely moments ago. Remus looked away for a moment and glanced at the dozen prone figures surrounding him. To kill was easy all that was needed was adrenalin a spark and a fire would be lit. But to forgive … He had learned that lesson too late.

The bandit’s. Their families. He had killed them all; his wife’s final words had fallen on deaf ears it had seemed.  But he did not feel as though he had carried out justice. He felt empty. A feeling of numbness had taken over him, in the end he had not cared who he killed. Whoever had paid the most and had offered him the most wine. He would’ve done anything to escape that feeling of numbness. Loneliness and despair were his constant companions they followed him wherever he went, never leaving his side.

Then the nightmares began, he would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. His body dank with sweat and his heart pounding. The faces of the men he’d killed and the face of his wife fresh in his mind His wife had looked at him with pity and sadness. He could see it hurt her to see the man she once loved turn in to monster. Everything they had believed in gone. His innocence destroyed, replaced by a far darker thing.

Remus had begun to resent himself overtime. Remus suddenly coughed heavily as he struggled to breathe; he spat out a mouthful of blood and phlegm. He let out a feint chuckle; he could scarcely remember his days on the farm. A broad smile broke across his pained face; he had believed himself destined to a life of raising cattle. He let out a derisive snort. 

How naïve. The sun used to rise in the east, its light sparkling off the morning dew making them seem like sparkling diamonds from afar amongst the fields. The verdant green hills were filled with vibrant exotic flowers which aromas would send the senses in to a whirlwind of ecstasy at the merest sniff.

But those times were long gone and now here he was lying on his back dying. But it was not fear that he felt but relief, his suffering was finally at an end; his tortured existence on this earth was finally over. He heard a cry from behind him, he could no longer move his body so he laid there listening. 

After a few moments the sound of running footsteps echoed in his ears .Eventually the image of his wife disappeared like a mirage only to be replaced by a face made of flesh and blood.

She had soft features, her eyes were wet with tears, worry was written all across her face. Her dirty blonde hair dangled down the mud causing it to stick together in clumps.  Her tears fell like rain drops on to his face. They felt warm to the touch. Remus looked up at her, confused as to why she was crying.

“Why” she stammered? Remus looked up at her and looked in to her eyes. She looked so much like his wife all those years ago. He smiled, maybe that was the reason he had saved her and her baby. “I”- he stopped the pain in his chest was becoming unbearable. He let another cough, wet blood coating his dry lips. “What” she implored desperately the women leaned in close so her mouth was next to Remus’s own? So much like his wife…

“Look after your son” hissed Remus through gritted teeth; he was on his last reserves of strength. The women clasped Remus’s face and looked in to his eyes. She saw great pain but beneath there somewhere she saw relief buried deep down. “Thank you for what you did” she whispered softly. She leant forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. Remus smiled as he was suddenly taken back to an old memory. The day he had proposed to his wife. They had sat in a field far from the village underneath an old oak tree. That’s where he had asked her, she had simply smiled as she accepted the ring. For that one moment he truly had felt alive. His heart had been racing; his blood surged through his veins. He had felt almost overcome with emotion.

Afterwards they had simply gazed at each other looking deep in to one another eyes; they had watched the sun go down far off in to the west to slowly be replaced by the veil that was darkness. They had made love under the pale glow of the moonlight. It was so perfect. So pure. So innocent. He was grateful to be reminded of that cherished memory.

 “Sit me up I wish to watch the sun set” he rasped with great effort. The women leant down and lifted his back off the ground till he was almost sitting up right. He let out a quiet groan as the arrows in his chest moved. Remus watched silently as the last of the sun receded in to the distance. Its warm radiance no longer felt on his cold clammy skin. Its journey was at an end and so too was his…

The women felt the body go limp in her arms; she slowly lowered it back to the ground and closed her unknown saviour’s eyes. “Why” she murmured, it was the only thought that came to her mind?

 She looked at the dead bandits surrounding them; they would’ve killed her if not for him. She looked down at her pregnant body. She placed a hand where she thought the baby’s head would be and smiled. “Thank you” she whispered, “I will tell my son what happened here today. I may not know your name, but I will honour your memory.” She declared respectfully .She had no time to bury the body so she merely said a prayer and walked off in to the night.

Reviews

[ashesonfire]

Very nice short story! Remus was a very interesting character. Sad but good story. I would try to break the paragraphs up a bit those, made it a bit difficult to read. Overall good, hope you post more of your works :D

[Gaelan_Hamilton]

A nice short story but your sentence structure needs to be worked on a bit. You'll find that if you read some of the sentences back to yourself you've missed out commas where there should be a natural pause.
You should also try breaking up your paragraphs a bit to make it easier for the reader to read and always always ALWAYS take a new line when a character speaks, otherwise it gets all jumbled within the text and messy.