keep the memories

If I ever cross your mind,
I want you to remember these memories
remember the way we used to laugh 
when you tickled me on my sides 
remember the way you made me smile
when you first said I love You
remember the way you wiped away my tears
when me dad called me a w***e,
remember holding my hand 
even when I fell on the ice all that winter
please don't remember the fights 
or the way you hurt me bad 
remember all these memories of me
remember our first dance
you were so scared to step on my feet
and I was so scared 
to fall on you
do you remember helping me plan my run away
we were gonna go so far no one could ever find us
remember the memories 
it's always gonna be with me
the things to keep you close to me
because it's all I have left 
of when I was happy 

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Indeed, It's only the memories we are left with most often, and that we can not forget. This is an excellent composition. I love the lines :
"Remember the memories
it's always gonna be with me
the things to keep you close to me
because it's all I have left
of when I was happy."

[MadWaffles]

It was amazing in my opinion and i would love to see more of it!!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

thank you, for the review glad you enjoyed iy

[MadWaffles]

Yes, I did enjoy it and i would love to see you make more of these!!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

make more poems?

[MadWaffles]

If you would like to, Yes. But your writings are far original and come from a place not known by most ... Imagination and the heart combined!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

thank you, and I appreciate this.

[MadWaffles]

You are very welcome!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

I am so glad you liked and I actually wrote those lines first and I was just like I gotta put that at the end but thank you so much

[Carl Drake Barnard]

The poem:New style technique,it's a free form which allows quick reading.Instead of focus on rhyming you focus on emotion to do the work. What this means our poem makes a quick read of your emotions. a summery of the past and what happened and how you wanted to express yourself. Which was really good cause it's raw emotion and some long for seeing that. The Title hints expression that he must at all cost keep the memories for him self,yet your peace wants more it wants response. And yet it shows doubt. A Girl that has all these memories of bad and good from more then one person but she shared all that to him. and yo want him to keep them for him self and yet part of you says no,keep the happy ones remember me that way. It has a lot of depth! :)

Now to capture and improve the writing: focus on your flow how you feel,must show! AND FLOW.
This takes planning. For example write how you feel,then read it,note the flow of emotion,write it,put the format like that.

next using words to rhyme to emphasize compassion and melancholy. IF struggling listen to sad music. Capture that feeling,remember it,use that to feel more emotion and use it for touching readers. It will make them remember the sensation of emotion way more.
Good write Keep it up!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

thank you so much for this I will listen to the advice

[Carl Drake Barnard]

a pleasure!