Busted

I feel like a half broken toy. 

Playing and having fun one second. 

Broken and unfixable the next. 

I don't know how to put myself back together. 

I've tried. 

For so long. 

So many times. 

So many different ways. 

I just feel so stuck in this hole. 

Almost reaching the top. 

Just to slip and fall right back down to the bottom. 

I don't like to be blunt. 

In fact. 

I don't talk about this hardly. 

But I think about it. 

Almost everyday. 

But...

I want to be dead. 

I really do. 

I know. 

I'm going to be eighteen in a month. 

But that's not going to fix it. 

I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. 

No matter how long it is. 

I just...

Don't want to try anymore. 

But I have to many people. 

To worry about hurting.... 

Author's Note

This is kinda crappy.. It was more of a venting thing anyway. No one freak out though. We all know I'm to scared to even fucking try..

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I liked the honesty in this piece...
let's everything out in the open...
and the clarity of self is definitely in the lines...
as with your author's note ---
venting is a good state of mind at times...
makes you realize your human and able to express those thoughts to paper...
I believe in your second to last line you wanted to say:

But I have to many people.
To worry about hurting....
---------------------------------------------------
But I have too many people.
To worry about hurting....

Gives the defining moment of the entire read of this write...

[Kitten]

Thank you.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You're welcome...

[Glitter]

Just because you're too scared to try doesn't mean the urge isn't still there, as well as the pain. In the same place as you sissy...

[Kitten]

Yeah.. I just don't want to deal with adults... It always gets me to the same place so. And I know..

[Glitter]

Adults are stupid and think they know everything so I understand.

[Kitten]

Yeah. Not something I want to deal with right now.

[Glitter]

-nods and hugs...- the only one I can really recommend is Mrs. Arrington because she actually really does give a s**t...

[Kitten]

Yeah. I know she does. But if mom finds out. She'll freak the hell out and try to have me locked up again. Which I don't want to go through for like the fifth time..

[Glitter]

-nods...- I understand...

[Kitten]

Yeah... So.