My heros

Ok. I didn't really want to make this a poem and I didn't want to do a blog either. Because I wanted to actually know when people commented on this. I wanted to take a bit of time and talked about the three men who have been helping me through my tough time over the last few years. 

The first. As everyone probably already knows. 

Is The Rev. Or James Owen Sullivan. Or Jimmy. Four years ago. We all found out he had passed away. And it was a devastation to say the least. Out of all the guys. He was the best to me. I had always wanted to learn the drums. And he was a beast at them. Plus he is funny and so warm and wonderful. It was hard not to love him. Him and his brothers always made me laugh. And when I learned of his passing. I fell apart. Still do... I'm getting better. But it's still a bit hard. But no matter what. I know he is always there and I will always have the music he left us with. And he keeps me from doing a lot of things that I shouldn't. And I see him as my guardian angel... No matter who insane that sounds... But he is my idol. My hero. I'd be so much worse off if I didn't have Jimmy to make me laugh and help me get lost in his music. I am living for him. Since he didn't get to.. I plan to reach 30.... 

The second. Pewds. Or Pewdiepie. 

He is a youtuber that plays video games and vlogs somewhat. And I think it's been about a year. Since I started watching him. And I could be on the edge of tears. Or ready to slice open my skin and I just watch one of his videos. And I'm all better. He makes me laugh and at times. Almost piss my pants from jump scares. But ya know. Sometimes yew need that. He, no matter how big he gets. Is always grateful of the bros. And is always willing to meet them. And he helps me through so much.. And he has no idea. I just wish. I could somehow tell him. I want him to know what he means to me... 

Number three. This is the one that could get me judged/shunned. But ya know. I've stopped giving a s**t about what people think about me and my choice in things. Why should it matter? It's my life. Anywhore. 

Louis Tomlinson. For those of yew that have no clue who that is. It's one of the guys from One Direction. Yeah. I'm into them. Live with it. Or GTFO. Because. Damnit. These boys are actually really great. And are nothing like that b***h JB. I'm not really f*****g sure. Why the hell. I hated them in the first place. It doesn't make sense to me. Because after getting to know them and some of their songs. I realized. They are really great. And are just a bunch of goofballs. Now. Loui. He is a giant adorable dork. And is wonderful. But that's not what it takes to be a hero. Just talking about him. Or looking at him. Makes me forget everything. Because I know him and the boys are so wonderful. They wrote a whole f*****g song for girls who self harm. Or have eating disorders. Or self harm. Or anything like that. I mean. Seriously? J b***h's cult was cutting for him. And he didn't do a damn thing. Come on peeps. And don't even get me started on all the charity work these boys do. They literally get themselves hurt to help people. Louis, is showing me. It's ok to be yourself. And just have fun in whatever yew do. And don't worry about what others think of yew. He has also. Got to live. Two of his dreams. How can that not get to a person? I've been fearing that I will never be good enough to do anything I want. But knowing he was able to reach two? I'm starting to see I can. And really. I just.. Want to thank him. He is really helping with my recovery. And if he hadn't come along. I'd probably be doing terribly... So. Thank yew boobear. <3

Now I know most of this was just me ranting about 1D. But I really do want people to see. That having someone to look up to. Even is it's not someone your close to. Can help. I mean. Because of these three wonderful men. I'm doing so much better. I'm starting to see myself as beautiful. (Even without heavy make up.) I'm starting to smile more. (My mother is the only thing that really gets to me anymore..) And I'm starting to accept myself more. And really. That's all I've ever dreamt about...  

Author's Note

Think what yew will about me. I don't give a shit.

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

I never had a hero I looked up to, or a role-model for how I wanted to live... I just lived as best I could. It is nice to see you so confident in expressing who you look to when times are hard. Few people are so honest. And by the way, I don't hate on you for One Direction. Admittedly I sing their songs at work in falsetto as a joke to the other guys; not exactly my taste in music, and although they are definitely being marketed for their image... it could definitely be worse. Like you said... Justin... that is a piece of crap there, no respect for anyone (Except Usher, which I am convinced he is uhh... sucking off), and his music is crap.

[Kitten]

I feel that kids really need someone to look up to. And I'm glad to hear that. Even if you sing along to mess with others. Your not hating on them. You are on Justin. Which is fine. Because. Like you said. He's crap. I'm glad you could agree.

[♪Barklight♪]

Its great to be able to feel good about yourself and a good idea to acknowledge the people who helped you ^^

(Lol, good ol pewds i think he could make anyone laugh XD )

[Kitten]

Yes it it is. And he could lol.

[Neshie]

I really love it sissy. I'm just so glad all of these people are helping you. Because I know you can make it out of all of this.

[Kitten]

Thank yew sis.

[Neshie]

You're welcome beautiful.