I lost it.

By Ashley

Shaking.. 

Hurting..

I drowned. 

I couldn't take it anymore. 

With a week like I've had. 

I don't see how I made it to Sunday. 

I just lost it. 

I lost it all. 

And now.. 

He won't even talk to me.. 

I shut him out. 

Deo helped me shut him away. 

He didn't even try to stop me. 

Like normal. 

He never helps. 

I don't know why.. 

He just doesn't.

Maybe... 

Because he needs it too? 

No.. 

He's happy. 

He finally got his girl. 

Who do I have? 

A f*****g alter. 

Sure.. 

He has his own soul. 

And all this. 

But... 

It's not what I need. 

And I understand. 

I can't really do anything about that now. 

But why should I let that get me down? 

If everyone else is happy. 

Then I don't matter... 

I'm just sitting here... 

Letting the cotton brush against my leg. 

Feeling the pain. 

Trying not to cry. 

Trying not to show that it hurts. 

I know I'm going to regret posting this. 

Like my suicidal poem... 

But why the hell should it matter? 

They'll all find out somehow anyway.