Monster

Zero is fighting many battles. Against his hate of his growing vampire side that threatens to consume the rest of him and his blossoming love for Yuuki. He wants to give her up so he can protect her, but he can't deny it much longer...

Monster

I don't know anything now... I want to forget even if I get hurt…

 

Screech! Slowly shifting the glass door aside, he winces a little at the high pitched sound it makes. The warm fog is slightly suffocating. He slips on a pair of smoky-grey pants, ruffling his silver-purple hair out of his face with a snow towel and shaking clear water drops free. As he straightens a white shirt, he catches a glimpse at the image trapped in the cloudy reflective glass.

I steal a glance at the mirror.

In the reflection, he first sees himself. Tall and slim with muscles rippling beneath fair skin. His amethyst eyes slithers down to the neck. A black flower-like design blooms against the bare paleness. As he rubs the midnight pattern, he bares his teeth from an aching pang. Then the dim light shines on the fangs. And his reflection starts to morph. Fangs lengthen and amethyst eyes start to blaze with red fire, a scorching desire for…blood…

This image becomes ridiculous.

Shaking his head violently, he throws the shirt against the mirror. Then he shuts the bathroom door with a loud slam. The snowy shirt slides down the moist bowl of the sink, weighed down with the drops of the leaky faucet. Sinking deeper and deeper…

Plopping onto a couch, he leans his head against the crimson leather and sighs deeply. His eyes travel the smooth whiteness of the ceiling. “That ceiling is so white and pure,” He thinks to himself. “Just like snow…and like her…” And, just like that, his mind inevitably travels to her. How long have he had these feelings for her?

I don't even know how it started.

 

That shadow-filled and scarlet night many years ago, shook by the strong winter wind, was the darkest night of his life. His family had been murdered. And he was left alone, so painstaking alone.

“This boy is Kiryuu Zero-kun. His family was killed by a bad vampire.”

Feeling the chilling wind, he refused to look at her. Consuming hate and strangling sadness was all he could feel and he had no desire for happiness. Revenge had already started to form in his half-crazy mind. There was no light in my world…

Later, when he was alone in the dim shadows of a room, the memories of his parents’ death found him again. He could still feel the touch of Shizuka, the vampire responsible for their death. In confused anger, he started to claw at his neck with a hand in desperate hope to wipe all traces of her away.

“Zero-kun?”

From my spot beside the low fire, his amethyst eyes, glowing a little in the light, gazed up to meet her horrified crimson ones. His face betrayed no emotion.

“What are you doing?” she asked, long chestnut-brown hair falling in waves onto her shoulders. Her eyes shone in the dim firelight.

“It feels disgusting,” he growled wrathfully. “That woman’s…touch still remains…”

“No,” she said. “No, stop! It hurts!” Suddenly, she was beside him. Taking his blood-stained hand in hers, she held it closer to her chest, closer to that beating heart. He could hear his heart almost reaching out in response.

After a long moment, she murmured so quietly that only he could hear, “That woman did bad things to your family, didn’t she?”

When he didn’t answer, she continued in the same soft tone, “You were put through bad things as well, weren’t you?” Holding his hand up to her face, he could feel her every word against his cold skin. “It’s alright now.”

Tell me with those red lips of yours...that it's alright.

She gazed up at him. And, slowly, a small smile appeared on her gentle features. “So,” she whispered, “I will always be here like this for you. It’s alright now…”

As she held his hand for the first time, his heart thumped a little louder than before. It was like it was reborn again. Like his cold body awoke from a dormant sleep. His dark world seemed to lighten a little.

Just like that! I was captured.

And like that, four years passed before his eyes. Along with the years, he started to have a new feeling whenever he was with her. A warm feeling…And yet he stayed away because he was changing, too. Confusion became a constant companion.

What is all this? These mixed up feelings.

“C’mon Zero,” she called, waving excitedly. “The sun is going down!”

“I know, I know,” he glowered, getting up from the long wooden desk. She smiled again and dashed down the stony path, chestnut hair waving behind her. He ruffled his already messy hair with a hand with the slightest of grins upon his lips. Then he strolled on after her, following her light.

But I'm following you. It's always been like that…

“Ugh…augh!” In the light of the crescent moon, he tried to stifle the biting pain that made his entire body quake. He leaned against the stair rail for support, nails digging into the wood. Writhing, he fought to hold down his desire that scorched him, forcing him to its will.

Clatter! The small box fell onto the floor, spilling its contents. Blood tablets. Little white pills that promised salvation in controlling that side, but betraying him when he needed it the most. He wanted to crush them into a million tiny pieces. He had fought against that side for four agonizing years. A shameful side that he hated more than any other thing because it reminded him of painful things. Loss. Loss of family. Loss of control. And, most of all, possible loss of a loved one. This side that made him a… Another convulsion took over him and, clenching his teeth, he tried to bite back another cry of anger and pain.

I agonize over it and become resentful.

“Zero?” Suddenly, it stopped. He turned towards her figure on the top of the stairs. For a moment, he felt fine as his eyes took in every detail of her…he briefly noticed the bandage wrapped around her palm. Before he could make anything of it, the pangs started again. He felt the red fire take over his eyes and fangs lengthening. He growled darkly in pain.

She mouthed something incoherent, petrified. She reached a hesitant hand out, scared to touch him, but still fearful for him. She was always like that. Caring and gentle…

“Stay away!” he rasped.

Glaring up at her, her eyes widened as his desire escalated. He knew that he brought back painful memories for her. But, she had to get away…he bared his teeth at her. Whether she meant to get help or run away, he saw her veering towards the stairs.

“Yuuki!” he didn’t know why her name came forth from his trembling lips. He suddenly grabbed her hand. Her bloodied bandage unraveled before his red-purple eyes. Even he didn’t know what happened until he had her in his arms, caging her within his clutch.

Titling her neck away from him, his tongue slithered along her warm exposed skin, leaving a shining trail. He couldn’t feel her shake within his hold. He couldn’t hear her calling his name, begging him to stop. All he was aware of was the feeling of his fangs sinking into her throat. His darkest fears became a reality. He lost control of himself.

How many times have I had this worry?

 

Ruffling his almost-dry hair, he stretches a little. He glances out the window, only to see darkness and faint outlines. The Day Class’s dormitory lights are out. The Night Class should be having their lessons. All is well and the night is calm. Rubbing his neck again, he returns to the couch. Again, his mind wanders back to her.

That side is what he wants to protect her from. That side that makes him a…“a beast that takes on human form. Vampire.” That side lusts for her sweet blood. Endangering her in a way no one else can. But he wants to embrace that love that had blossomed so passionately. So that how he is torn. Split between staying by her side, hoping she could love him in return, and running away. Being confused tears him apart…

How many times do I have to be torn?

 

After that incident a few weeks ago, he decided that protecting her is much more important than his probably one-sided love. Loving from afar didn’t seem so bad. So he avoided her, in case he wanted to hurt her again. Every time he saw her pained face, he ached, but managed to turn away. Avoiding her would’ve been easy if it wasn’t for his heart. If only his heart would listen to him. His lonely heart cried for her.

No matter how much I scream, and cry, my pained lonely heart still hurts, missing you.

He told himself, again and again, “When tonight passes, I'll be able to forget you. When tonight passes, I'll be able to erase you.”

But his heart just didn’t listen. He fought with himself, but he still saw the same unavoidable ending. With him, she would be in danger. His control over that side was as strong as his power to change the seasons at will. Near impossible. Would he be able to forgive himself if he hurt her?

Even though I see the inescapable outcome,

“Yuuki will never love me back,” he said to himself. “Don’t dream. How could someone like her ever love me?” His heart just told him to have faith. Will his heart ever be satisfied? What a greedy heart…

I can't seem to be able to give you up. I want only the breathing you.

 

“ZERO!”

He jumped. Whipping his head around, his heart beats in panic. Then he sees it is only her. Even after the scare, his heart thumps a loud welcome. “Don’t do that!” He said angrily, sitting a little straighter against the couch.

“I called you a few times already,” she returns crossly. Moving over, she wraps her arms around him. He freezes, not sure what to do. He was afraid that her head against his chest would hear the thunderous heartbeats.

“You looked so sad,” she whispered.

Embarrassed and lost for anything to say, he pushes her away a little. “Don’t be so close to me. I’m a vampire remember? You should be more careful, Yuuki. I'm dangerous. More than a starved beast. Don’t get caught.”

Strongly meeting his eyes, she says, clearly, “I don’t care.”

He stares at her. “Yuuki…” Tilting her head slightly, she smiles. That caring smile. He can’t hold back anymore. He wraps his arms around her shoulders, burying his nose into her hair. It is slightly moist and smells like shampoo. He can feel her lips against his neck.

“Yuuki…” This time her name leaves his lips as a breathless sigh. “Is it really alright for you to stay with me like this?” he almost didn’t want to believe that she would really accept him. “I could hurt you at anytime…”

“Zero,” she cut in. Pushing him away a little, she gazes deeply into his eyes. They waver a little. “I made a promise. I’ll be here for you. It’s alright.”

Tell me with those red lips of yours...that it's alright to love you like this.

A slightly trembling hand leaves her shoulder to reach up and hold her face, that gentle, sweet, smiling face. He raises his chin, closing the distance between them. Her dark scarlet eyes widen as his amethyst ones close. The unseen electricity sparks inside of him when his cold lips get closer to hers. He can feel her warm breath. So close…then…

His forehead falls softly against her shoulder. After a moment, he hears her melodic voice whisper close to his ear, somewhat hesitantly, “Zero?”

“Nothing,” he murmurs. “It’s nothing.”

Don't get caught, I'm dangerous. More than a starved beast. When I’m with you, I'm merely a hopeless, thirsty monster.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I do not own Super Junior (though I'd be happy as heck if I could) or Vampire Knight.
Original song: Monster by Super Junior
Any suggestions?

Reviews

[Johnzo]

(Please don't take this as a flame, but as some hopefully constructive pointers)

This was a bit confusing to read, starting with the choice of first-person present tense point of view. It threw me off at the very beginning. I had to stop and think if fpp pov was even accepted in literature, and it turns out it is common (http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3072949). But I think it's miss-used. When writing in the first person descriptions and thoughts should be written as the character, but things like "Tall and slim with muscles rippling beneath fair skin. My amethyst eyes slithers down to the neck" seem very out of place. Is the character so vein as to take the time to study and describe his own appearance in such articulated thought?

Similarly the line: "The snowy shirt slides down the moist bowl of the sink, weighed down with the drops of the leaky faucet", if the character is really in such pain and torment at that moment would he really even notice the shirt after he threw it? It seems there is a lot of 3rd person style descriptions going on from the 1st person, which (for me at least) just really didn't flow or fit in properly.

Part way through it moves to 1st person past tense, as Zero begins to describe (what I assume is) meeting Yuuki. The transition from present to past tense through me for a loop, and I had a hard time telling what was really happening. There are several points swapping back and forth between tenses, and it makes it difficult to tell what is happening now and what is just Zero reflecting on the past.

There's also a very odd choice of Zero referring to Yuuki as "you". This was extremely confusing, I wasn't sure if I (the reader) was supposed to now experiencing the story from her point of view... and yet Zero is still talking in the first person so how could that be? It just really didn't make any sense (in this written form anyway) for Zero to be using first person present and then refer to someone as you. Since it's present tense it should be depicting his current emotions, thoughts and reactions to the current situation. Using "you" to reference another character is confusing, unless he is talking to that character verbally. But in his own thoughts of the moment it really doesn't seem natural.

On the plus side there is a general sense of emotional intensity throughout I see while reading, but the above issues make it hard for that to really shine through. I'm sure you could rework this a bit to smooth of the edges and make a much more fluid story.

[BloodRED6203]

Yes I did notice right off the bat that this was not your story. Trust me I wish Vampire Knight was my own series but that belongs to Matsuri Hino. I understood it because I have read Matsuri Hino's manga's. I do only have one question. Shouldnt you put up on your story that this isnt technically your own work? I mean that whole story line and characters already belong to Matsuri Hino. I dont know I just think you should put something down saying this is from Matsuri Hino's manga. I loved reading it in writing form though I absolutley love the manga's but I think you should mention that its not your own story. People may get the wrong idea. Just a thought. Great description though.

[.Bunnie.]

Umm...I have to agree, the way this was written out was quite confusing. I think the story itself is captivating and a great idea. (And unlike the rest of the population, I'm NOT tired of hearing about vampires!! ^.^) I think when you flash back to something, you should keep that section spaced out and italicized. (I may be saying spaced out wrong, so let me clarify: I mean simply adding 3 or 4 spaces from the last paragraph that was written, then adding another 3 or 4 spaces at the end of it b4 you start again with the present.) I had to read this several times, but great job!