Just a Joke

Stuff I'm writing to deal with pain (1) By the way, I left this gross dude a long time ago

"It's just a joke," he'd say,

Mouth curled into playful smile

That spat rusty nails like bullets through my body,

And I had believed every word, every time,

Masking my uncertainties with a submissive giggle. 

"You're all just stuck up," he'd say

When he couldn't understand 

Why the unintended audience couldn't even crack a smile

At the scene of a sadistic clown and his punching bag, his sidekick. 

I thought that somehow I ended up with these magic powers nobody else had,

Where only I knew what he was thinking and feeling. 

That's all it was, fun and games. 

We would laugh, and we'd laugh,

And there would be an almost hysterical, contagious reaction

As he forced his hand over my mouth,

Muffling my giggles,

Making sure to the tighten the space between his fingers

So that my fate was literally in his hands. 

"I could kill you if I wanted to," he'd say,

As he released his hand

And gave me precious air. 

I took large gulps of oxygen,

And I still laughed. 

Clearly, that was all a joke, too. 

Of course it was. 

Author's Note

It's been a while since I've written poetry, but I wanna truly use it as a coping skill and hopefully hone my skills better. Hopefully it wasn't too graphic, but comment away.