Battle of Inks

a debate just goes inside my gray matter.

It was a decade ago when I started to notice the difference between the black and red. Yeah, two mere colors. It was then when I still grasped my mom’s floral skirt whenever I see strangers, when I simply see the world through my uncorrupted essence, a time way back my early days.

These hues- the black and red- are actually the colors that brought me to open the eyes of my mind. My perception of them just changed.

Yesterday, I was called an intellectual monster by a comrade. The way I entertain my thoughts and the unclear option why I shared my thoughts to him gave him the grounds to judge me that way. Appalled I became after that exchange of ideas thinking that no one really understood me. And so, I am writing here to be understood.

It has been a long time since the debate inside my mind started. It force me to decide on where and what edge am I going to fall. On this side lolls the belief on the presence of God the omnipotent and on the other, the body of knowledge and the supremacy of science which knows no utmost being, no God at all. It was that simple, two edges open to wherever I pleased to plunge. Yet, as eons passed that thought gave birth to another and another follows. That was an exponential growth of thinking leaving me in a state of confusion and perplexity. Worse, a monster inside of me was born.

Those things were inside my head. If only I have to spin these thoughts into a drop of ink on a paper, it would leave an emblem of a black color. It was black, as dim as the twilight where I set myself to fall. The monster ate my faith and turned it into tormented bit and pieces. I am no longer an agnostic mortal. I am already an atheist. I was conquered.

Here then comes the bearer of the red ink-my pal- who began to talk about salvation, bible and the like. He was supposed to be a corrector. A drop of red ink on a paper signifies a fault or something to be improved. I know that I have to be corrected thus far, I accepted the correction. It left a new hue to the paper of my life. But a moment of talk is too weak to make me evolve and live the life with the tinge of red. On the other hand, I remain as what I am, had a little change perhaps but still the same.
It was the battle between his ink and mine, a struggle of an influence trying to persuade a stiff belief.

The battle of inks still remains. It must be ended soon. I hope.

 

 

Author's Note

does a "God" exist?

Reviews

[JRB]

God is a word, given to describe, causation, and the triad of consciousness, within energy manifested, as well as, for the effect of unfolding the materialization, that's behind the energy of matter, in which to hold this knowledge. There is no god, nor is god dead, god was never alive. I LIKED YOUR BATTLE OF INKS,
Jan/uisiom

[Pax Analog]

Strong. And I think when you are serious about publication, I'll help you clean up the syntactical gaps so nothing undermines the work.

Here's the bigger philosophical deal: There is much more to the "duel" than bible babble or scientific reductionism. That is a very narrow "either-or" that all too many succumb to. The question, "Does God, (or "a God") exist" is a word game, whether as believer or atheist. Why? Because "God" if confessed as a MYSTERY that neither religion nor science understands AT ALL, is a DEFAULT TERM for EXISTENCE ITSELF!

Would one ask, "Does Existence exist?" I think not. Whether we are dreaming phantoms in deep illusion or not, there is an undeniable LIFE. We should ask who's asking the questions, and what does that one expect to find?

Take Zen, for instance. They don't give a flying f**k about "self" or "God." What concerns that natural discipline is ATTENTION ITSELF. NAKED AWARENESS. When one simply observes inner and outer content, thoughts and things, WITHOUT GRASPING, a subtle clearing opens up, a more spacious gracious state of BEING. THAT being doesn't care about mind games. "Does God exist?" is a mind game. "I think, therefore I am," the Cartesian nonsense, is a mind game. Attention shows you thoughts arise like clouds in the sky, there is no "I' that generates them. Another hoary, time-imprinted statement or question without meaning.

"The judges sat purposely recycling the perceptual gilded cage of subject-objecthood � profaning the divine singularity in their amnesia. There was no place for the shattering of the siege of history, so gnosis was inscribed in invisible ink."

The above is an excerpt from my "X Marks the Spot" power parable installment, posted here. Since you are using an "ink" metaphor, perhaps you can appreciate it.

I look forward to discussing this further. You have a rich poetic sensibility. Keep in mind, I am a radical mind who understands much of the traditional foibles, the false dichotomies. Frankly, you picked a good person to learn from. These are archetypal issues.

[A Forsaken Dream]

I think that was a wonderful poem that expressed your thoughts thoroughly. I like the structure and metaphors. I think that this is a work of art.