My Fairytale

This started as a poem, but turned out to be a sort of rap hahah

“My Fairytale”

 

Hold your breath and count to three

Close your eyes as you think of me

Think of a place you want to be

Think of a place you want to see

 

Your lips are like a rose, don’t be shy

Your eyes, like the sea, tell me why

Your hair is like silk, smooth and long

Your mind, unspoken, an unwritten song

 

I can write it for you

These words I speak are true

You know I can’t ignore you

Man I’m love struck, I don’t know what to do

 

I remember the first time when…

 

When I saw you at the bookstore; I didn’t know what to say

My feet were frozen solid but my heart melted away

I wiped my eyes and looked at you, was I seeing a dream

A beauty like you, no…this can’t be what it seems

 

So I walked to the fiction aisle, my book was right here

I swear this was like a love trial, I looked up and you were there

Is this the wrong place, cuz I’m seeing a fantasy

I see my beautiful princess, I hope I’m your prince to be

 

I was driving Cupid’s love-boat and I didn’t know how to steer

How can I be falling for this girl, this is worse than I feared

I fell head over heels, heel over head

This is a love story, a story you never read

You’re my Juliet and I am your Romeo

We can watch the stars all night and fall asleep on my patio

 

Don’t you know that you and me

We’re just perfect to be

Together in this fairytale, doing anything we please

 

Our sweetest moments should be shared together

Our passionate love will be here forever

But fairytales are fake, they dont come true, they never

 

 

 

THE END

                     

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kloud_Nine]

It was 'ight dowg...kidding, but seriously it was ok. I only say ok because that's what I say about all love stories or poems, nothing personal.

Anyways, the rhyming was done well, i did notice the scheme change and the whole poem changed in style it kinda slowed down for me at that point because I was trying to pick up a new pattern suddenly, a transition stanza would be helpful (but thats the hard part about writing rhyming poetry, its alot like writing music).

All in all, i thought it worked. I managed to read the whole thing and even leave a leave a lengthy review, which is more than I can say about alot of things I read these days. Well done.

-K9

[Mindless Mindset]

How wonderful! Was this true? It made me think of love that seems hopeless but may end beautifully if you believe in it. Great poem! ^^

[Raven Wilson]

^_^ I LOVE this, call me biased but it reminds me of a song my Boyfriend wrote me. The tone and rhyme of this piece make it easy to read and enjoyable. The second stanza is easily a favorite, it is very poetic in its descriptions.