Crunch

What are you, that crunches beneath my feet?

My mistress, to what season do you belong?

Why do you crack ever so when I walk over you?

And why do do you fly away and rustle with the wind?

Are you the bitter chill,

only to be forgotten and we don our spring clothes?

Are you the specks tracking the ground,

reddening my face and tearing my eyes?

Are you fresh-cut grass on a summer's day,

fresh, verdant and fragrant?

Are you the crisp chips tarrying on the return day,

of orange, brown and red?

To what season do you belong, my mistress?

And most importantly,

what does that mean for me?

What does that mean to me?

All I know is the crunching,

below my feet as I walk over you.

Author's Note

Please criticize harshly and constructively so that I may improve on further writing.

Reviews

[R.F.]

An interesting piece of prose. Well written and good use of metaphors. In the last stanza where you repeat "what does that mean for me?" I believe it would sound slightly better if you removed one of them. Repeating a line only rarely works, and other times it cheapens the message. A very refreshing piece indeed. Keep up the original work. Well done.

[Daniel Dougherty]

I appreciate the review, thank you very much. In my defense, I don't repeat the line exactly. The iteration, instead of saying, "for me," says, "to me." I used this is the attempt to distinguish whether the subject in question will be good (for me) or impact me, potentially in a negative way (to me). Still, it's hard to notice, and it really doesn't alter the meaning as I thought it would. Thanks.