sandwoman

 

i bought a ticket to a one-night fantasy,
when suddenly the world turned its back on me.
i searched for my old friend called reality,
and found him replaced by a familiar face called stupidity.

so with the ticket in hand, i began with my journey,
then after a hundred steps, i felt tired and weary.
i retired on a bench made of mahogany tree,
subsequently sensing that another soul came to sit beside me.

there we talked like long-lost, mating ghosts,
bliss was what i found in her, like having a dopamine overdose.
oblivious of time for i was enthralled as she spoke,
twilight struck like a perilous thorn of a pulchritudinous rose.

the woman told me that she had to leave,
a strange pang hit me, i couldn't believe.
"come with me, together we'd be happy" to her i appealed.
"we belong to different worlds," from her mouth i perceived.

she climbed up through a ladder made out of slabs of stones,
in their cold segments engraved forlorn echoes of inaudible moans.
the weight of her steps thudded on the realms where the sun never shone.
she cried as she sang a sonnet of melancholic notes in bitter tones.

i wondered why am i not entitled to a happiness of my own,
such forbidden fantasy vanished as she headed to the door i still scorn,
leaving me with an unrequited desire, a romance that was not even born,
something that lonely people hope for, a heart's funeral that lovers mourn.

such noirish fantasy was never meant for me,
for in this whimsical journey, there was a missing symmetry.
and so like the sun that set and the birds that flew free,
my gaze followed the woman without saying goodbye to thee.

asking her to join me in my trip was forbidden, i confirm,
for my last name is sandman and she's the sandwoman of my dreams.
someday, may we meet again and in silence we'd listen by the stream,
to the unsung melodies of the sunset which i keep in reverie, as it seems.

 

Reviews

[woodennymph]

i think it is too busy, much focus and effort was put into making hte words really flowery that it lost the feelings and thoughts meant to be conveyed...the point was simple enough and so i feel that you should have made the thought and the word usage complement each other.

[MY]

This is excellent !

Especially like the way you end this one:

asking her to join me in my trip was forbidden, i confirm,
for my last name is sandman and she's the sandwoman of my dreams.
someday, may we meet again and in silence we'd listen by the stream,
to the unsung melodies of the sunset which i keep in reverie, as it seems.


wow

[Pj]

Really liked this! The line:
"bliss was what i found in her, like having a dopamine overdose." Was wonderful- the contrast between light and darkness, was really well done

[The Philosopher's Noteb..]

I loved it... I wish to read more of your poems...