A painful dream

Ever since you left,
My life is a promise unkept.

Of you i'm dreamin,
Even in this pain, i'm dreamin...

Dreamin of your beautiful face,
Dreamin of your comforting hugs,
Dreamin of your sweet lips,
Of your powerful arms,
Your welcomin smile,
Your beauty,
The electricity.


It always left me without words,
How the sight of you works
Works out every pain,
All the loss turns to gain.
With you its simple, no pain,
Cloudless blue skies no rain.

Love filled air,
Your beautiful blonde hair.

Every memory makes me smile,
Yet also brings pain back in style.
Its so beautiful,
But painful,
Dreamin of you.

Reviews

[Tomoe Tellez]

Hey, I really loved this part:
It always left me without words,
How the sight of you works
Works out every pain,
All the loss turns to gain.
With you its simple, no pain,
Cloudless blue skies no rain.

The rhyme makes it flow in a beautiful way, the words are full of wonder and emotion. The whole poem is intense with what love causes when it's far away. You did a great job with this piece! Thanks for asking me to read it.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thanks for reading :) really appreciate it.

[Destiny Dreamer]

Amazing, just AMAZING!!! WOW! Really memories can be beautiful yet very painful of the loved one, when they aren't with us! Even we found the pain in the best of memories.. I loved your poem so much :) Keep writing!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Wow :) thank you :)

[B]

I see so much beauty in this write
A dream keeping a lover alive
The way she is
Her smile
Her soul

So gorgeous
I love your pen :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you. Its more like him... But thanks.

[B]

sorry him lol

[Dani The Unreviewed]

No problem. Thanks again.

[B]

My pleasure

[Lyric]

one of your best, awesome

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you.

[...]

This was beautiful! Sad, but written with so much love. It's difficult to get past each day when the one you love is away. Trust me I know and I felt this one deeply

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you so much.

[Joel Armstrong]

I liked this piece a lot. Loved the way you expressed the emptiness one feels after someone you love leaves you in the mud.But something I've always kept in mind is dat if you could love the wrong person this much then just imagine how much you could love the right person who's meant for you .I loved this one.do write more

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you. I did write more...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

And he is the right one. He didn't leave because he wanted to.

[Joel Armstrong]

I did read your other poems too,a few. Honestly I really liked em.

[Joel Armstrong]

Hmm. We can't say my friend.u have ur whole life ahead of you.I mean I'm 16 and I don't know how things will turn out,but I do hope.so take heart my friend

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you. Honestly, the only thing i have in front of me is just pain...not life. And please don't say "don't give up" cause i already did give up.

[AaronFreitas]

"Dreamin of your beautiful face,
Dreamin of your comforting hugs,
Dreamin of your sweet lips, "

The things we are left to dream of when we are missing that special someone. I can definitely relate to this. Last night I sat and talked to someone who used to be important to be and to be able to look her in the eyes like old times was crazy only to wake up and face reality. Great write :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you very much.

[J.A. Marquez]

Keep hanging in there. This is a very endearing and heartfelt sentiment. The first two lines of the last stanza are so truthful. You're tugging at my heart strings.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you so much.

[Heartful5160]

Great write!! You did a great description of your lover!! I know it hurts to see that one person that at one time loved is gone and all you do is think and dream about them. The thing that I hate is that I believe that sleeping is a way to get away from the world for awhile and a place that you can just dream about all the things that's really bothering you inside. But when you see the people that have hurt you or abandoned you in your dream, really it's no longer a dream, right? Nope. It's more like a nightmare, but really I know that really inside it's just how I'm feeling inside and I know it's something that I don't need to live out in real life. But keep writing, because you can write, my friend! Never quite writing!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are absolutely right about that! i mean...I've spent quiet a lot of time sleepin, just so i don't have to take the pain. And no, it doesn't help. Thanks for readin.

[Heartful5160]

Your very welcome! Thanks for reading the reply my friend! But we all have to deal with the rough waters that come our way, don't way? But all we have to be is strong, strong, strong!

[sereenaoutloud]

"how the sight of you works, works out every pain"
Wow IM this is really good! The whole write from start to finish is so heartfelt, so raw.
You suck the reader into your pain, we feel your sorrow!
sad but so beautifully written...One of my favorite of yours IM!!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you very very much! It means a lot to me that you like it.

[sereenaoutloud]

You can really see you growing as a writer IM...you have always been good but you are growing and getting better and better with each write !! GO you!!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thanks, now i'm blushin...lol. I'll keep writin.

[sereenaoutloud]

lol.... :)