Crying

Crying

A Chapter by Dani The Unreviewed
"

.......crying as i write this........

"
Do you remember?
No, it was not september.
You were standing at my door,
I nearly fell to the floor.
Your presence made me happy,
Without you its all crappy.
You came, because i asked you to.
Time stopped for us back then,
No it just seemed like that.
That moment,
That beautiful moment.
Ugh...on it went.
For a few seconds it lasted,
Our happiest few seconds.
Now its all wasted.
Now i'm just terminated.
Dead i am on the inside,
You were life inside...
Inside my now shattered heart,
A destroyed soul i am.
I know you feel the same,
Its the world's shame.
You were my light,
I was your fire,
You were my life,
I was your love,
You were my reason,
I was your season.
Now, you are gone,
So am i.
I torn my poems to pieces,
Because you were the meaning,
You were the reason,
You were the light,
You were everything to me.
And now you're gone.
Now, i have pain.
That sweet memory,
Of our melody.
That very first kiss,
The feel of your lips.
Now its all pain.
I still cherish the moments...
Yes, every one of them.
They're my hidden gold,
You are my hold...
My hold on life.
Without you, my soul is a desert.
Everything is dead.
On the inside i am dead.
Why?!


© 2016 Dani The Unreviewed


Author's Note

Dani The Unreviewed
..........

My Review

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Reviews

This one is so sad, but also beautiful. I'm feeling the emotions in this one. Gosh... I wish I could write as awesome as you can.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i know that feeling.. You feel like you're stuck in a never ending black whole.. Nice poem though

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

9 Years Ago

Thank you sis.
Cool Girl

9 Years Ago

Welcome bro!
Two much time is spent on moments that people spend together. Some time should be spent on the hours spent building something together and not the few moments spent tearing it all down.

Posted 9 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

9 Years Ago

Not exactly the point... The moments are not the last ones... They are the first.
this one is definitely heartbreaking...

maybe you could try the title ''Crying''

no better way to convey it probably

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the suggestion and the review. Yeah, i'll probably use that title.
closed

9 Years Ago

looks like you went with that title
i really think it works
Dani The Unreviewed

9 Years Ago

Yeah, it works. Thanks.
Anyone have a suggestion for a title?

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on May 4, 2015
Last Updated on January 8, 2016
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Author

Dani The Unreviewed
Dani The Unreviewed

Tankcsapda, Agyarország, Germany



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