One in the chamber

Eh...not worth the effort.

I see him,
Looking back,
Through the glass.
My worst enemy
Looking back at me.
In the mirror he stand,
A gun in his hand.
Raise it to my head.
Load one in the chamber,
Lethal as cancer,
With this, my life he'll cancel.
One bang,
And my body in a bag.
My happy self dead,
Now i'm only a shadow
Of what i was.
Dead.

Author's Note

Eh...whatevs.

Reviews

[RiverRei]

Yeah I've been there. I've actually attempted suicide many times but clearly it's never worked. I even fail and killing myself lol. I've never tried a gun though. I'm afraid of actually succeeding in ending my life. I've never been afraid of death itself, just what's after death. The unknown. Not knowing what happens to me when I die is really scary to me. I don't want to die even though I know it is inevitable. Well, I don't want to die anymore... I used to. I've been able to get a little better, but I still have those moments once in a while. You can come to me whenever you need a friend, I promise. I'll save you :) So sad but such a lovely write. You make writing look easy.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Well thank you :) i believe...well sometimes i consider possibilities... But mostly i end up at thinking that nothing actually happens after death...other than rotting to dust.

[Workvio]

Howdy ... And hello ... And all that hoopla we go through in introducing ourselves to those we do not know, nor are we likely to meet ... Life is not kind ... Nor does it have a mind to be ... In fact ... Life is mindless ... Kind-less ... Uncaring and thoughtless ... As to what we want, or what we care about ... Why so? ... Why is life so unkind, is our lament, our woe? ... We have all felt this way at one time or another, and yet it is life that has set our hearts to beating ... Life has done all it is required to do for us ... The rest, the rest of our lives, is solely up to us, and it is our responsibility make our lives the very best that we can ... Big words from me that make it sound like I don't have clue what you go through, huh? ... Yet, I spent a major part of my life toying with suicidal ideations, planning, plotting, and conniving against that man in the mirror that is none other than me ... Then ... A realization ... I am ... I am not only my only true enemy ... I am my worst enemy ... If I could be just make peace with me, then life becomes not quite so bad, most days ... Not all days ... Reality is, once dead, you/me are dead for a very long time ... There is no heaven ... No hell ... Just that cold, cold ground to lie in, while others face up to day to day problems and live their lives to the fullest for as long as they can ... Sept 27, 2012, I lost someone I loved dearly to suicide ... She was the sweetest girl I've ever known ... Had she a clue today just how long she would be dead ... She would not have done it, shortly after I saw her last that night ... Had she a clue how it destroyed her family ... Her dad has not been sober a day since, nor has the man possessed the withal to work ... He is as dead as if she had put a bullet in his head ... She should have ... Rather than butcher him in hanging herself ... And her brother? ... I would say he is doing drugs, but he is not ... Drugs are now doing him, as he waits for death to come for him, so that he can be with her, for they were as close as brother and sister can be ... Or so he thought ... And me ... My life will never be the same ... I have many dark poems on this site that speaks of all the days and nights I wished to be dead in her place, seeking death daily ... Until I realized that someone had to shout the message that suicide is a LIE ... Someone must keep her memory alive ... All she did wrong, really, was to make a mistake that changed lives forever, in that she's been in the ground almost three years now, and her family and I are still not over it ... So write your dark words ... Get the feelings out ... And get on with living while you are alive to do it ... This man hears the pain lurking within the lines you write ... Suicide is nobody's solution ...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Okay this was long.......i'm sorry, for your los. But i wont be happy ever again...my boy was forced to break up with me...and he and his family will move out from town...wont be able to see him much...so my heart is now dead. Maybe i'll be too...well actually i am dead in a way... Its complicated.

[Workvio]

Time does not heal all wounds, but eventually they do scar over, and somehow, in a way that is hard to explain, we go on ... We wait ... We hope ... If your friend wants to be with you bad enough, then one day when he is older, he will show up at your door ... Until then ... Wait ... Live ... What good would your death do him? ... What pain would it cause him? ... Think on that ... Nice to meet you ...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nice to meet you too. Actually...my death would make little difference right now. He tried killing himself...and nearly succeeded with it...now that we're not together....well maybe he... But i wont think of that.

[Workvio]

Except in cases where one gives his life to save another from harm--say Jesus on the cross if you are a Christian (I am not)--suicide is the ultimate act and mistake of selfishness ... I say that because it is true, yet if you read some of my dark poems, you will see I have battled with my dark death thoughts, and that is where writing your thoughts and feelings down is a good thing ...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I'm an agnostic...but more precisely an atheist. I do think about god...but i always end up that he does not exist. Anyways, i'd give my soul to the devil if that could get my boy and me an eternity spent together. But devil and god are just myths.

[Workvio]

I believe in a Creator of all that is and will ever be, but organized religion has twisted His existence, His Character, His Personality towards their own ends and means in ruling over men as Sheeple-People ... To put it simply, the universe did not pull itself out of its own arse, so something, a someone, made it, and the earth, and us on it ... Question is, what does that someone really expect from us, other than what men attempt to program our minds with ...?

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I guess that IF something exist out there.... Then it can go and f**k itself. Thats what i think about it. But reality is, that there is nothing and nobody out there, never was and never will be. How the universe came to existance is the least of my worries...but there is no god. If there is, then i hate him/her/it.

[Workvio]

Understandably so ...

[Tom McRoberts]

Wow, this is bleak stuff, written well. I'd pluralise 'stand', the commitment made to enforcing a rhyme there is a little jarring. You'd still have assonance there, which honestly would be better given that the rhyme structure is erratic anyway. Your figurative speech is good, I'm particularly fond of your allusion to life being 'cancelled'. At times some of it can be quite conventional though, taking away from the impact the piece could have.
In all cases the pen is mightier than the sword--even in matters of suicide. I like this piece, but only because I do not see it as a creative end, but a beginning. I sincerely hope you continue to explore yourself through writing and find yourself in a better place.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[B]

Good job there
Powerful piece about dying

i can picture it

You got imagination my friend

[Willard Wells]

Well yes you do travel either the dark side or very near the edge. Be careful of the blade as you ride along it's edge. I have been able to stay in a comfortable place on that edge and it goes dark, but not a mirror image of my own self destruct.

I hope if it is that dark you have someone to share with. This is a good place to let go of some of your pain with your words. But since you have a way with words, we would like you to stay around an share more.

Now if your dark place is just a playground like mine seems to become. No worry, write some more dark. I LIKE IT. Thanks for sharing.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yeah...this is not just my imagination. Life went so evil that i wish it would end. Thanks.

[613]

I feel like I should report you to someone who isn't on this website. Like maybe the police…? Every other word you write is that you want to kill yourself. Maybe they'll be able to track down your location & stop you before you do anything rash. I don't know how else to help you because it's apparent you're refusing to help yourself. Threatening suicide is quite the scary thing. If you're serious about harming yourself than calling someone who can help you might be the best thing. However, if you're using some sort of emotional extortion tactic to gain followers on your page or just for attention, shame on you. Suicide is nothing to joke around about. I hope you're doing neither of the two because they'd both be terrible. Find something to keep you grounded. Look for the positive in life. If you say there isn't anything positive, then it's YOU who is getting in the way of yourself. You can be happy & content. You can!

- Brittney

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nope...no point. You should try my stupid life and see if you can do any better.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

And you seriously believe they will do any good? yeah right.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

And no. I can't be positive. Right now there is little that is positive to me. And this review is only making it all worse.

[613]

Well I don't know what to tell you then. I suggest seeing a therapist. You need help. I hope you find some peace in your life; the very least, a glimpse of happiness. I'm sorry, but I cannot go onto my feed every day & see this depressing stuff. It's truly dragging me down & I don't like being surrounded by it. Good luck to you.

[luvs2write]

I don't want to say that this is amazing, because there is absolutely nothing amazing about feeling like that. But from a writing point of view...this is pretty amazing.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you.

[613]

I agree with luvs2write.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Okay..................

[closed]

sometimes I think death would suck because we don't really know anything about it...
I mean unless we're religious/spiritual

like I'm a Christian so I believe in heaven

but its just that maybe its better to be alive than to enter death, which is just this big ''unknown'' ya know

that's how I always think of it...

anyway

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Its not death like dying...its like losing happines.

[closed]

yeah, and when you lose all happiness, it feels like physically dying...
so I see it from that standpoint too

it's just, I have thought all of these things too, and Aless and I have had to both help one another cope with it...

but sometimes when I think about it long enough
I realize im afraid to die...

and then I decide to just keep living

[Dani The Unreviewed]

There is nothing more to know about death other than its the end of life. Thats all it is, the last stop.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nothing happens to a dead person...other than his body rotting.

[closed]

that's what you believe...

but what if youre wrong?

[closed]

In the Judeo/Christian belief system, to take your life is considered a sin...

so if I were to take my life right now...
I would face Christ's judgement...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

If i'm wrong...then i'll need a damn good lawyer. Anyways, i know that its considered a sin. I'm supposedly "raised" in a christian environment.

[closed]

knowing that then...
does death make you afraid?

[Dani The Unreviewed]

No...it makes me curious...i wonder...maybe then i could be with him. And if i'll be without my boy, then whether i go to heaven or hell it wont be any different to me. Without him, heaven is just as empty and meaningless to me as hell is. And hell is not half as bad as heaven is.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I know. I'm a hopeless case. Too many have tried to force their beliefs down my throat. So i decided not to swallow any more of it. I'm sorry.

[closed]

but if he wont be there...
what would be the point for you?


If I went to heaven
but Aless were left here on Earth still...

it would be very lonely

at least stay here where there is the chance of reconciling with him again...
do you see?

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thing is...that not long ago, as you may know, he tried to kill himself...if he would have died, i would have killed myself that day. That time, i wasn't responsible for his suicide attemp(I hope)...but if i die...he'll do it again. And we both go to heaven or hell or just rott in a grave...doesn't really matter, atleast we'd be together.

[closed]

honestly I have felt the same as you about Aless
the only thing is...

I'd still have to face Christ's judgement somehow...

[closed]

but I see what you mean too
when looking at it from a Romeo and Juliet standpoint

read morebut I see what you mean too
when looking at it from a Romeo and Juliet standpoint

which can be applied to your case too

[closed]

just generalizing

[Dani The Unreviewed]

If Christ exists(No offense, but honestly, i just don't believe he does exist) and if he has that much love and understanding as people say he has, then he wouldn't judge. I mean, he supposedly died no a crucifix just so he can give people a new chance... I think he would understand.

[closed]

maybe...
but you have to understand the Bible I guess to know the answer

but I guess in the end we have the same idea
and resolve

but as long as your love is alive
youre better off alive than dead

same for me

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Maybe...but i can't live without him. There is no point.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I'll be alive and yet i'll be dead. I'm like a zombie.