When the Skinny Girl Screams She's Fat

Traded in carbs for cups full of coffee,

With each sip the cup was fuller than me,

Black coffee never before tasted so sweet,

Than when my hunger was finally beat,

I lost my desire to survive and eat.

What is beauty if I am not set at my own standard,

I want to be skinny so the price of this does not matter,

Hunger goes away when you stare into the mirror,

But nothing is there any longer just a girl shattered,

Admiring the parts of herself that to others are tattered.

Please don't get upset when I scream at my stomach,

That little bit of chub on me is something I can't take,

I want to be so small people worry my bones will break,

I want to be model thin even when my stomach aches.

They say the first step to recovery is admitting it’s a disorder,

I’ve hidden it so well that others cannot see the horror,

That for many years it has been my body and I at war,

I hope to one day wake up and embrace that first bite,

It is victory when I eat from the morning to the night.

Reviews

[EMMIE]

Wow! This is so real! Poignant! This line right here: "That for many years it has been my body and I at war". I feel that this is a pretty underrated topic, not just for women but for men who also deal with body issues. It's so much deeper than just the physical. You have executed this piece brilliantly!

[DaniOutLaw]

Thank you so much. You're so right on that, I wish people felt more comfortable talking about it. Or could understand this side of body issues better. It took me years to even admit I had a problem. So thank you.

[EMMIE]

Thank YOU for bringing it to the light. We need more conversation about this topic and poetry is just one of the great outlets. I hope you can overcome this...find your light and hold on, you are stronger than you think you are. Just the fact that you were courageous enough to post this and admit it to yourself, no matter how long it took, should tell you that you are a strong WOMAN!

[DaniOutLaw]

Thank you so much you're so kind!

[Henry Pellinger]

What a beautiful piece!!! I feel the same way all my life. I almost feel sometimes worthless because of my weight. I get through it day by day and try to eat healthy and exercise. Always know that even those who are models still deal with low self esteem no matter how you look. You mind will always find something wrong with itself. Love yourself and you are always loved by God!!! Great poem,keep writing!!!

[DaniOutLaw]

There's always a strange comfort knowing I'm not the only one that feels this way. Some days are better than others, but I agree knowing that I work out and eat healthy really does help. Thank you!!