Our Love Was Like A Garden

Our love was like a garden,

Nurturing to the eye while

The roots choked on

Their own soil.  Or maybe

Our love was like

Two redwoods seeking light

But basking in constant rain, or

Our love was like a tease of the

Taste of Crème Brule,

The taste experienced in words only,

Words fail when

That which you want

You can never describe, or was

What we had was only

The unfilled prescription of

Aspirin for the painfully out of love,

It was like

The beauty of flowers

For the blind, it soared like

Arias for the tone deaf, and

It pulsed on the soul like romantic

Poems for the illiterate.

We scrambled to find our way

Like the homeless

 Pleading for inedible food,

The indelible ecstasy

Of the indigestible.

We grew despite it all, and

I filled oceans with our love.

 

 

 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the "was" past tense makes this really sad...but the analogies are magnificent...
"the unfulfilled prescription of Aspirin for the painfully out of love"

no relief for the headache of a relationship that was so good and is now gone...scrambling like the homeless to find reason in fate.

j.

[daninstockholm]

I bow to your kindness,, thank you so much, Jacob,, it really makes me happy when people "get" what I write about, sometimes I'm not even sure until I hit that point when it says "Stop, I'm finished! Don't edit anymore!!" I truly appreciate your kind words!

[katie]

The use of past tense makes this incredibly sad. But it's beautiful. The analogies are amazingly brilliant! The bad with the good. Everything a pure love should be. Wonderful piece!

[daninstockholm]

yes, the good and the bad are at the heart of this piece. Thank you again and I apologize again for being so wayfaring.

[katie]

Again! No worries! You're welcome, sir!

[An owl on the moon]

There is a painful beauty that breathes through your words, across your journey of loving. A deep, powerful essence lives in the magic of your metaphors.

[daninstockholm]

thank you so very much, Craig. I truly appreciate your kind words,

[Kelly Scheppers]

"For the blind, it soared like
Arias for the tone deaf, and
It pulsed on the soul like romantic
Poems for the illiterate."

This is poetry for the senses, for the over sized chair by the fireplace. ...beautiful lines throughout, Dan!

[daninstockholm]

puts another log in the fire, pours us both a glass of cognac,,, thank you my dear,, I appreciate it very much!

[Kelly Scheppers]

...my pleasure, Dan!

[zaisham9393]

This is amazing.Very beautifully written :))!

[daninstockholm]

Thank you very much!! You're very kind!

[Gee]

Yep,with Jacob.Beautifully put together and across.Great work Dan

[daninstockholm]

Thank you so much!

[David Scott]

Even when it doesn't really work out it nourishes...
An interesting look at the many possible faces of love.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you, my friend!

[mattavelli]

This is beautifully descriptive and had me worried til it hit the happy ending.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you for stopping by!

[mattavelli]

My pleasure :)

[V]

A really nice write on love. Though there's also a sad tone about it, I think it derives from the past tense you used. Moreover, I like how you structured it and the comparisons you included. A clear, lovely poem. I enjoyed reading.

[daninstockholm]

Thank you, Vanessa! The sadness was definitely intended, so I'm glad it came through. i always appreciate feedback, so thank you so much!!

[V]

You're welcome :)