Beer Bottles and Pills

For all those people who are in foster care, feeling lost and alone. Inspired by my personal experience

Beer Bottles and Pills

I close my eyes and rewind back to a time

When strife sliced up my life with a serrated knife

Mother and father struggled to pay the bills

For our budget had gone towards beer bottles and pills

My brothers and sister, they couldn't do anything

But watch as our parents again risked everything

Wasting money by day and themselves at night

And yet still surprised to find that they always fight

Meanwhile, I just sat there on the filthy floor

Nice and warm, playing my Nintendo 64

Unaware of the scary scene that had formed

And that soon we wouldn't be in that house anymore

One day the bank came, to our parents' dismay

And with haste proceeded to take our house away

Which left us homeless and broke, trying to cope

Roaming the whole state from place to place with the hope

That we could get back up to our knees at least

And be able to afford more than fast food feasts

But still the family was left deathly ill

As our budget had gone towards beer bottles and pills

Meanwhile, I just sat there, without a damn clue

Just a six year old boy who was failing in school

For I had missed so many days and was refused

The ADHD meds I needed to pull through

My siblings, they eventually moved out

They wanted to take me, there was never a doubt

But they couldn't, and man, it brought them so much pain

For me to stay in that place with nothing to gain

But abuse in the shape of endless neglect

And a domestic mess deserving no respect

And the worst part was that my parents couldn't tell

They had made their son's abode a physical Hell

Meanwhile, I remained unaware, without fail

Wondering why Daddy had been locked up in jail

On the snowy night that Santa's sleigh set sail

To bring happiness to all of those kids who wail

Soon we arrived at the American Lodge

A hotel that, thankfully, didn't cost a whole lot

Where we stayed until that gloomy day when Fate

Rewrote the words he carved onto his stone slate

In a drunken rage, Dad struck Mom with the phone

That was the one mistake for which he couldn't atone

Then later, while he was in his prison cell

The police found some drugs my Mom had planned to sell

Meanwhile, I was confused and honestly scared

Tightly squeezing my favorite stuffed polar bear

When my Mom gently ran her hand through my hair

And told me, "The police have to take me somewhere."

The following year brought a torrent of tears

Though the parts near the beginning aren't all that clear

I went to live with my brothers for a while

And then was forced to leave them and their soothing smiles

I was left in a stranger's place, so afraid

She was a scary lady who never refrained

From shouting every time I messed something up

And left me just longing to feel like I was loved

Meanwhile, I curled up on that alien bed

Sometimes wanting to cry until my eyes turned red

Praying daily that this madness my life bred

Would soon end along with this emotive bloodshed

And then after four months of pleas unanswered

I received a bright sign that things would get better

In the form of a caring, married couple

Who were looking to save a small child from struggle

The moment I moved in, I felt loved again

Sobs no longer smothered every tired breath

And I still remember the day I was told

"Son, welcome to your brand new home!"

Now a decade's passed and I've since then moved on

Still I thank God everyday at the dawn of dawn

I've changed so much more than you could ever know

And I've promised myself that I'll never cease to grow

The boy who once received grades that were so low

Is now a college student on an honor roll

With a love for puns, family, friends and life

And he will be that way until the day he dies

Dedicated, with much love, to those who are/have been in foster care for any reason.

This is probably the most personal piece I'm ever going to write

Author's Note

Alright, this is that last piece I was talking about trying to finish before I went back to college. Clearly, that didn't happen, but I've finally gotten it done, and am ready to present it to you all! This took me days to write, and I'm certain I could've done much better with this piece, but time is currently limited for me, and I wanted...no...NEEDED to get this piece complete, otherwise I knew I wouldn't have come back to it. The events described in this piece are my own experiences in foster care, which I was in a little over ten years ago because my birth parents were addicted to alcohol and drugs, and weren't taking care of me like they should have. For the first time, I legitimately counted EVERY syllable in order to nail my flow (which, for this particular piece, is an eleven and twelve syllable flow). As per usual, all feedback is acceptable. Even if you want to tell me that this piece is horrible, feel free to do so (so long as it's in a constructive manner, that is). I don't know when I'm going to write anything again, so I guess I'll just end with a see you next time!! :)

Reviews

[Ashwin Shanker]

I would have to rate this as one of the best poems I ever read here in WC. Absolute classic... It has the strongest base of your own experiences which you have articulated to perfection in a poem. It flows like a cascading river, with all its glimmering beauty and yet despite the tragedy that you had to go through; you still made it to the end and had a story to share. A Happy ending at the end of a long tunnel... What else can a reader ask for?
A true roller coaster of a poem, thoroughly enjoyable

[DoormanDan]

I'm truly flattered by your extremely high opinion of my piece here. That time of my life was truly a roller-coaster, but a part me would choose to go through it again, if I had to, because I'm quite happy with the person I have become because of it. Thank you so much for reviewing :).

[Kailani]

I don't have much else to say than that this is an incredible poem that portrays your experiences so beautifully. Well done.

[DoormanDan]

Well, I'm flattered by your high opinion on this! Thank you for reading! :)

[colleenp119]

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL....YOU WRITE SO HONESTLY AND WITH AN OPEN HEART....

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for the review and the praise. Yeah, I dumped as much emotion into this as I could muster. I'm happy to hear that so many people enjoyed reading this. :)

[Poetic License]

Whoa. Such a transparent look inside your beautiful soul. There are no words appropriate for this because this really isn't words - this is life and feeling and what happens and the worst of it and the best of it and the sad of it and the happy of it and the lessons learned and the lessons you didn't know you were even learning and the lessons you never wanted to learn. I love your honesty and your heart in this writing. That is all I can say. It is a prized portrait of a friend's soul, and that is priceless - written or no.

[Kenneth The Poet]

I think you summarized your situation quite well. And I've seen a number of similar ones. You survived and you left this piece as your catharsis I think. Nice work, brother.

[D Connolly]

OK, I'm close to tears for a lot of reasons... I shared your parents' experience unfortunately, but fortunately, did not have children at the time. I have, however, seen so many children that should have been taken away from their awful f*****g parents... I hated those people. However much their babies loved them, they made me sick when I went to buy drugs from them and had to change their babies' diapers and bathe them because no one else would. Even as a junkie I could still see that the kids deserved better. ANYWAY... my husband and I plan to adopt once we have moved forward in our careers and have the money to provide an awesome home for a child (or children). We hope to be like the people that you spoke of, making the kids feel safe and loved and protect them... ok, enough. Super emotional and personal and honest, the way the greatest writing always is. Congratulations on a job well done Dan
-Dani

[DoormanDan]

I wish you the best of luck with adoption, and am very happy to hear that you seem to have overcome your own demons. That's impressive, and unfortunately, not everybody can say that they've turned their lives around in such a way. You're right, children do deserve better than that, but I can never really bring myself to flat out hate anybody, no matter how horrible they are. It's just not really in my blood. Thank you so much for reading my work, and once again, good luck. :)

[Ginger Valentine]

Great writing Dan

[Manu]

First of all, Kudos to you for this brave, powerful and honest piece of poetry. I am glad that you came out as a brighter and better person at the end. This was very heartbreaking to read. A very good and inspiring story of a person who has lived in foster care. You have maintained proper structure, flow and rhythm throughout. I was hooked up to this write till the end. So you were successful in keeping your readers engaged till the end. I feel writings that carry poet's personal story always hits at right place..this did the same.
Very well done, Dan :-)
Salute to that effort that you put in creating this wonderful piece. Thanks for sharing your outstanding journey with us.
Keep up the good work.
All the best for ahead.

[DoormanDan]

You are very right, personal poems do tend to carry more of a powerful punch than just regular poems. Thank you so much for reviewing this, and for your kind words. I appreciate them. :)

[Farmgirl]

You Mastered this piece !

Personal ones always seem to hit home most in my heart you see ..

And I'm so happy for youbtjat your life has been being restored...

And hugs for all the hurt you had to undeservingly endure


((( Bighugs)))

I will be returning here ...


L. 💛

[DoormanDan]

Thank you so much for the kind words and the hugs, they are really appreciated. I'm doing fine now, thankfully. This piece, surprisingly, wasn't even that hard for me to write. Anyway, thanks for reading and for your kind words. :)

[Farmgirl]

I understand and I see that you have healed and overcome this hardship I thought this was very beautiful and quite the tear jerker

All in all very inspiring ...


The ks for sharing such a personal piece from your life ...


L. 💛


I look forward to reading more of your writing ...

[Anjay Dhirmalani]

I usually don't enjoy reading poetry, but I loved this piece. It flows very well, and is still vivid (something I struggle with when I try to write poetry). I'm glad your story has a happy ending, great job and good luck.

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad to hear I was able to make you enjoy reading poetry for once! There's something about being able to do that that's a real confidence booster. Thank you so much for reading! :)

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

What a brave write. I can relate to this you have put so much into it your raw emotion. No matter what sums us up in the physical we are as big as our hearts allow us. I have always been just a skinny little girl but I have the heart of a warrior. Good luck be with you friend. Well done.

[DoormanDan]

True words. I could work out every day until I have six pack abs and huge muscles, but that still wouldn't guarantee that I'm mentally stronger than the scrawny, nerdy person right next to me. It all comes down to our mindsets and morals. Thank you so much for reading this. :)