Porcelain Phantasies and Imperfect Portraits

Sometimes people are held down by the gravity of self-pity.

Porcelain Phantasies and Imperfect Portraits

Another vulgar verse has enshrouded my heart in remorse

As I once more traverse these contorting corridors

What has befallen the creative compass

That served as protection for my realm of porcelain phantasies?

A scholar fathered once by thoughtful sonnets and renaissance

I was tethered to a luscious land of knowledge

But now that connection has been severed

As sinister secrets shackle my mind to the most vile lies

We are prisoners of imperfect portraits

Unable to escape the ambience of mistakes we made

Yesterday

Author's Note

I've been going through a lot of self-pity recently for various reasons. These lyrics tell two fictional stories of self-pity that reflect realizations that I have made about the topic myself', and serve as a message to myself to change my mindset for good.

Reviews

[LittleBear]

I love the way this sits on the page and your choice of color. It almost beautifies the darker meaning (I interpreted) of the poem. Aside from that, it was very well written. I felt my heart being pulled on with every word. 100% Perfect!

[DoormanDan]

Well, I'm happy to hear I succeeded on an emotional level with this piece (that is what I aim for with my writing most of the time). Thank you for reviewing! :)

[LittleBear]

No problem! ;)

[Amber Lily]

It sounds like you've found out that self-pity can completely change your aspect of life if you wallow in it long enough. And things can turn dark. Having a little bit of confidence for the future could help lift you out of it, since a lot of self-pity has to do with the past or present. This is something I need to remind myself to do as well, it's very easy to get sucked into that way of thinking.
It's a really cool thing to be able to see a person grow through their poetry. Stay strong Dan :)

[Valentine]

The last 3 lines say it all. Nice to see your write. Valentine

[Gaia Octavia]

I really like this. First off, I wholeheartedly enjoy alliteration. Secondly, I remember being young, reading romantic sonnets, and drinking from the "luscious land of knowledge." It can indeed leave you tethered to unrealistic musings. I like your wording. Nice job.

[DoormanDan]

Alliteration and assonance are two of my favorite literary devices to use in my songwriting and poetry. As a matter of fact, heavy use of literary devices has just become a part of my general writing style. Thanks for reviewing. :)

[Perkele.7885]

Porcelain has always denoted a paleness of white fragile virginity to me. Ever more so than even stark white.
It is a hard standard to use as a comparative.
Put the self pity into the past.
You are young. Be care free! You are quick witted and of sharp mind. Let your mind take you to places that you in turn can then take us to once you have made it safe for us to follow you there.
Be of good cheer!

[DoormanDan]

My self-pity is in the past now. It took some time, but better late than never, as they say. It'll take a bit of time before I'm in tip top writing shape again, but with every piece, I'm making progress. Thanks for both the encouraging words and for reviewing this, Raj! :)

[Perkele.7885]

Dan, however you look at it; our poetry is entertainment, pure and simple, for both us the authors and they, the readers and the listeners. Your poetry and mine are as different as night as to day but, that is of no matter because we are creating and reaching out to a segment of people who are entertained by our fare. I cannot do what it is that you do or you do what it is that comes from my mind but, both forms have their place because they fulfill a purpose within our human condition. Keep writing, Dan!

[Emily]

Very nice wording!!
Keep it up!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this, Emily. :)

[Insight "MH"]

A nicely penned poem of self-pity. Pity make us think and try to change to a better situation, that's a healthy feeling to have.

[Workvio]

It is true that past events, mistakes, whatever, can and do shape our present and our future if we allow them to ... They say that tomorrow is only a day away, just out of reach of today ... The same is true of yesterday, for it is only a day away from today, and can never be revisited or changed ... Many lessons can be learned from our past, and the most important is to learn and accept that we cannot change the past, but can change our present and, thus, our future ... Nice write ... Really enjoyed it ...

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you both understand and like this poem, Marvin. Thanks for the review. :)

[Solar]

'tethered to a luscious land of knowledge' but when the connection is severed there is another shackle to overcome in confronting the ambience of mistakes of yesterday - while applicable at the personal level you indicated, it has also a wider resonance in terms of the human condition.

[DoormanDan]

True, there is another shackle, but if one hadn't established that shackle(like me) before the breaking point, then they find themselves having to try and lasso in a better mindset while adrift. Thanks for reviewing. :)

[Solar]

yes an anchor a 'moral compass'

[JerryB]

Oh, isn't that the truth. The lines . . . "Unable to escape the ambience of mistakes we made / Yesterday."
I understand that on a personal level, as I suppose most will, except those who go through life not believing they have ever made mistakes. This was a poem so personal and honest it was/is near perfect in my thoughts. Excellent!

[DoormanDan]

It's better to make many mistakes in life that you learn from than to live a life of mistakes that you don't learn from. This is probably the most personal song I've ever written to date, so it does hold a special place in my heart. I'm only 19 years old, but I've already made many mistakes, and continue to make mistakes on an almost daily basis. It's almost like a full time career! However, I make sure I learn from every mistake I make, so that I walk away a better person. I'm very flattered by your praise of this piece, thank you very much! :)