Bazaar of Nightmares

When faced with horrific circumstances, people can feel helpless and might struggle with deciding whether to run or surrender to the madness.

Bazaar of Nightmares

Lurking in the swamps of this kingdom

Are ravenous predators baptized in black blood

Forever on the hunt with pure corruption and lust

We’re trapped in the bowels of torrential mayhem

Defenseless against thieves and damned savages

But still we refuse the seduction of forfeit

Gather the wounded, abandon your sanctums

For sickness has crawled from the wombs of the asylums

Heaven has been entombed in embers of ether

So run until your last breath, of the shadows you’d better beware

Exorcise the vengeance tempting you to step into the bazaar of nightmares

 

We’ve been blessed with a primeval plague

Of bloodthirsty barbarians, liars and holy disdain

So pray for an escape (slash their tongues!)

Ring-a-ring o’ roses, a-tishoo, a-tishoo!

Hang with a poison dart your condemned heart!

And sing with delight as ambulance sirens roar in the night

Gather the wounded, abandon your sanctums

For sickness has crawled from the wombs of the asylums

Heaven has been entombed in embers of ether

So run until your last breath, of the shadows you’d better beware

Exorcise the vengeance tempting you to step into the bazaar of nightmares

 

Hush now little child, don’t you cry

Mommy and daddy are waiting for you to arrive

Honest to God, wipe your tears dry

Close your eyes tight and slowly count to five

Just run until your last breath, of the shadows you’d better beware

Exorcise the vengeance tempting you to step into the bazaar of nightmares

 

Author's Note

I finally feel that, with this piece, my writing has returned to form(well, for the most part, there are still a few kinks here and there). Do you think it has? As usual, tell me what you think! :)

Reviews

[Nami Machae]

"But still we refuse the seduction of forfeit
Gather the wounded, abandon your sanctums
For sickness has crawled from the wombs of the asylums
Heaven has been entombed in embers of ether"

this right here spoke to me on more than one level. Beautiful piece, and keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work!

[Emily]

Love it!
I really like that first line!
Keep on writing!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this, Emily. :)

[Simon Welsh]

Nature in a nightmare fantasy land. Words are pictures. Nice write.

[DoormanDan]

I had to rewrite this piece a bunch of times just to make it feel right to me, so I'm glad that you think this is good enough. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Perkele.7885]

I like the poem even though it is a trip into the Bazaar of Nightmares. I thought those nightmares were over after I divorced my last wife. Ha! You use your repetition stanzas well.
It appears that I have no other option than to exact vengeance in the Bazaar. For a mellow-king like me, I an going to have to resort to the old me and reprise him this one time!

[DoormanDan]

I'm relieved to see that somebody noticed the psychological aspect of this piece! I was worried that I had made it too vague, but I can rest easy now. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Chuck]

Blown back, brother. Mighty piece. The poison heart/condemned heart knocked me on my a*s. I've got to read more of your stuff.

[DoormanDan]

Haha, well I'm glad you liked this piece(pleas accept my humble apology for that a*s knock down:)). This is one of my stronger pieces(compared to some of my more recent writing, that is), so I'm glad to hear you think its so good. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Amber Lily]

Hello Dan! I'm glad to see that you finally think your writing fits the bill once again. This one does seem to have a special touch to it. I'm not sure why, but it made me think of a town crier in medieval times that was announcing chaos before a city. It definitely has an older feel to it somehow, which I think is amazing. Poetry from that era is truly unique. Fantastic work :)
Glad to hear from you Dan! Hope school is going well!

[DoormanDan]

I'll be honest, that wasn't exactly the atmosphere I was intending to generate with this piece, but I'm more than fine with that kind of atmosphere! You are right, poetry from that time period was definitely distinct in a good way. Thanks Amber, high school is still going very well for me, I'm just too preoccupied lately to really write as much as I use to! :)

[Amber Lily]

Glad to hear your doing well! Good luck with your studies :)

[Sesame]

Hi DoormanDan,

I always feel quite stupid when I read poetry. Somehow I do not really get what it is about most of the times. That is why I ask people not to send me read requests for their poetry. But because you have often read my writings and you send me a request I felt obliged to at least give it another shot. And I must say, this poem was a lot less vague than most of the things I have read here on the Writer's Cafe. It has some sort of logical order and story in it. Something from a book about heroism in earlier days, knights tales or something like that, but then in the future. Anyway my point is I can appreciate the story in here, as well as the atmosphere you create and the flow of the lines. It makes reading easier.

Besides this I have no more feedback to offer, except maybe one mistake: "Welcome to bazaar of nightmares " -> is not the word 'the' missing here?

Sorry for my poor response, I'll gladly review a work of fiction if you want. Just send me a request.

Your friend,

Sesame

@followsesame on Twitter
www.themagiccave.com

[DoormanDan]

Poetry can often be confusing. Heck, even I usually have to read poems multiple times to fully grasp their messages(and I've been writing poetry for a long time!) I tend to create stories within my poems, mainly because there just isn't much in my life right now to write about that's interesting enough to satisfy my creative tastes. My more recent pieces have been plagued with writer's block, making my recent effort somewhat lacking in my eyes, but this piece is, so far, the closest I have come to being on my A-game again. I'm glad you appreciate my efforts to create stories through poetry. Thanks for pointing out that typo, I'll correct it. No need to apologize for the "poor review"as you put it. In the end, an honest review is a good review in my eyes, no matter how much content is in it. I might follow up on your offer, but just know that my story writing skills are average at the most(in my eyes anyway). Anyways, thanks for reviewing! :)