Fallen Paladin

Dark times told through the eyes of multiple people

Fallen Paladin

Once familiar wavelengths fluctuate

As psychedelic visions torment my conscious

By the Succubus harmony has been claimed

As my trust surrenders itself to lust

The tumor inside my soul grows as I spiral out of control

Broken, I stand alone, tortured by crimes for which I cannot atone

Righteousness avenged beckons me to leave my delusions divorced

But frightened am I of the carnivores waiting with bloodlust reinforced

A life devoid of love and joy has left me fragile and paranoid

And now to me this universe is but a vast void

It's such a merry tragedy; my voyage with melancholy!

I cannot bury in the past this maelstrom of petals and ash

The callings of the morgue I hear like gentle whispers in my ear

The guilt I feel never relents, I'm sorry, those I once held dear!

The skeletons shrieking in my closet and the monsters under my bed

Conspire to decimate my pride and leave me with dislocated faith

In silence I embrace oblivion, a fallen paladin.

Author's Note

This was originally going to be another song, but I rewrote it in poem format due to both it not meeting my standards and because I couldn't think of a strong enough chorus that I really liked. I'm trying my best to keep everything as original and creative as I can, but as you might be able to tell, I'm running on fumes here. This isn't the best piece I've written, but I at least feel like it's a step back in the right direction compared to my last few pieces. As usualioats, tell me what you honestly think! :)

Reviews

[Aries1984]

Wow! I'm amazed at your vocabulary here. It really is writing like this, that inspire me to continue to write.

[DoormanDan]

I'm happy to hear that you were inspired by this piece. I really appreciate your wonderful review :)

[Amber Lily]

Well written as always! I like how you always change up the text be it poem or song. The extra emphasis or boldness of certain words really drive home the point of what your trying to say. It's those words I find to be the most important and effective toward my mood while reading. It makes every one of your piece fun to read. Nice job :)

[DoormanDan]

People seem to have mixed feelings about this thing I do with the font and text color, which is part of the reason I'm not using it too often nowadays. Whenever I do decide to do this, I really do try to have it benefit the mood rather than hinder it in some way. Thanks for reviewing this Amber :)

[Amber Lily]

Text color is always an option in almost every writing program, I wish people felt the freedom to use it more often. Which is part of the reason why I think that you do it, because no one else does!

[DoormanDan]

Haha, you're right actually! That is most definitely one of the reasons I do it. I have to admit that I have a hard time reading very long pieces that when the text is just the boring default font size and color. That's why I even make the font color for most of my stories different as well, because making something appealing to the eyes is every bit as important as making something appealing to the mind. :)

[Amber Lily]

Yes exactly! I completely get your style and enjoy every bit of it. :)

[Nightfeather]

This is too damn epic :D I felt like I was in a epic movie for your words are very well chosen and the setting of your story is super cool. The talent is high with this one, for you shall one day a poem to rule them all.

Good job :D

[Valentine]

Dan, I wish I had some of your brain cells. You are going to have so much to offer when you establish which venenue you want to follow. Valentine

[DoormanDan]

Funnily enough, the career I currently want to pursue actually doesn't have much to do with writing. Right now I want to become a meteorologist, and have writing as just a hobby like it is now :)

[AaronFreitas]

You killed it with this one! You already know I always enjoy your dark creativity and this one is just another amazing piece! "As my trust surrenders itself to lust The tumor inside my soul grows as I spiral out of control"
I love those lines... awesome piece :)

[DoormanDan]

I'd tried to incorporate a few lines that weren't cryptic in this piece this time around. I'm glad this has gotten your approval Aaron. Thanks for reviewing! :)

[Emily]

I really like this one!
Keep on writing!!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing Emily :)

[Perkele.7885]

Paladin, you are not nearly as far from home as you think that you are. A few strides well taken in the right direction, down a path well known to you and your songs will play three for a quarter on a 1950's vintage juke-box in your head. It is a head trip that only you can take alone because the conscious mind needs no outside interference's!

[DoormanDan]

Yeah, you are right about that. I would be lying if I said that this poem wasn't influenced by some very slight turmoil I've had going on in my head lately(nothing that serious, just a little anxiety, but it's gone now). Thanks for reviewing Raj :)