Promise of the Wind

A fantasy story about a girl fighting to carry on after losing someone close to her.

Promise of the Wind

The arctic landscape all around was nothing but a vast, desolate kingdom of glistening ice, boulders, and snow.  The snow of this unearthly wasteland shone blue; more blue than the raging waves of the ocean.  The night sky above this peculiar setting was even stranger, as there were no stars hanging in it.  Instead, there were what had to be thousands upon thousands of little, fiery orbs of light, which looked much like will o' wisps, and each with it's own soothing color, dancing in the night.  The truly extra terrestrial and somewhat sublime scene was one that straddled multiple worlds; that of depression and loneliness, hopelessness and sorrow, and in a way, beauty and mystery.

In the middle of this unbelievably august wasteland was a teenage girl.  She had to be, without a single doubt in the whole staggeringly titanic expanse of the universe, the most beautiful girl on the planet.  Both her long, curtain like hair and her skin were a bizarre mix of black and white, and her eyes were a mesmerizing swirl of silver and gold.  The girl's pants, shoes and hoodie were also two different colors; bright pink and dark blue.  She was easily the most exotic being the stardust paintbrush had ever painted onto the canvas of existence.

The wondrous teen seemed to be completely oblivious to the fantasy around her.  An explicit coating of cold, heart numbing sadness emanated from her hypnotizing eyes, and the cause of this appeared to be an object erected in the ice right in front of her.  That object was a tombstone with one word engraved into it.

"FRIEND" 

The area around the stone was littered with almost unrecognizable bits and pieces of a plane engine, and the tombstone itself was decorated in hundreds of empty lockets.  Even in the perfect paradigm of surreal settings that surrounded it, the stone slab seemed so out of place.

 

As the girl continued to stare blankly at the tombstone, relentless tidal waves of memories began surging through her head.  She remembered all the times her friend had been there to provide her solace after every intense altercation the girl had with her father.  Whenever he had either verbally thrashed her or had left her a beaten black and blue mess on her bedroom floor, her friend had been there to fight for her.  Whenever the boys and girls at her high school had treated her like a freak because of her looks, the girl's friend told her that she was beautiful.  All of those times her friend had been there, and the girl never once said thank you.

Now she would never get the chance.

A gentle, chilling icy wind began to sting the girl's skin like a thousand angry wasps; but she didn't seem to be affected by the elements.  All she did was continue to stare at the tombstone, motionless and apathetic about everything else. It was as if she had forgotten how to feel and react to pain.  Suddenly, a grave, whispering female voice voice could be heard; but there wasn't anybody other than the girl around, and the voice wasn't hers. The voice was that of the wind.

 

"This wasn't how it was supposed to be".  The wind said.  As it spoke, a lone tear began rolling down the girl's cheek.  The almost microscopic teardrop quickly froze, and upon hitting the ground, it shattered into dozens of small ice fragments.

Not faltering, the wind continued, "Why did this have to happen?  There are so many doors left unopened, so many mountains left unclimbed.  Now what will happen to everything beyond those?  Are they just meant to simply fade into the void?" 

Now the remarkable teen was sobbing uncontrollably, tears flowing down her face like raging rivers.  She had never felt like this before; so sad, so lonely, so empty...so broken.

 

Something suddenly slammed into the girl's side, knocking the breath out of her, and throwing her a good twelve feet.  With a grunt, the girl crashed into the ground, the blue snow acting like a cushion for her fall.  Shaking the impact off, the girl rose to her feet and turned to face her assailant. What she saw didn't make any sense at all. 

 

Standing where she was just standing moments before was a shadow; her shadow.  It had somehow become a three dimensional entity, and was now staring at her like a predator watching its prey.  The look in it's sanguine eyes sent a wave of pure terror coursing down her spine.

After a few moments of inactivity, the shadow let out an awful, bloodcurdling shriek.  Before the girl could react, the shadow unleashed a sonic boom that went flying at her.  She didn't even have time to brace herself before it struck her and knocked her off her feet.  Not giving her a chance to get up, the shadow sprinted forward (closing the distance between them in three strides), and slammed it's foot into the girl's stomach.

The impact was so strong that the girl immediately coughed up several drops of blood and struggled just to breathe.  Her shadow continued to show no mercy by proceeding to relentlessly assault the girl with a barrage of brutal kicks to her stomach, back and head. After about a minute the shadow stopped, leaving the girl a black, blue and bloodied mess on the cold ice.

 

The heartless shadow then picked the beaten girl up by her throat.  The teen made a rather pathetic attempt to break free, but the shadow had an iron grip.  It was at this point that the shadow began to choke her.  It applied so much force that the girl's vision started to slowly go black after just a few seconds from oxygen deprivation.  After another few seconds, the fiery orbs in the night sky above began raining down in a thunderstorm of light.

She couldn't do this, her shadow was too powerful, The girl thought.  She could feel herself gradually growing weaker and weaker by the second.  Soon, her arms went limp, and her eyes began to slowly close once and for all. Moments before the end, soul searing regret started running through her.  She thought about everything she had done in life, and the universe of things that she had yet to accomplish.  There was so much more she could still do, and it was all about to just evaporate.  What would her friend think of this, if she was still alive?

Suddenly, the voice of the wind came back, but it felt warmer and sounded strong this time.  "No".  Was all it said.  As it said this, life and strength began surging  through the girl's body at the speed of light, and her woundeds started to heal.  With the ferocity of an erupting volcano, her eyes shot open, an incandescent glow emanating from them.  A bright, golden aura soon enveloped the girl entirely, and the shadow began struggling to keep a hold of her.

"This is not what she would want!"  The wind roared.  With an explosion of energy, the girl blasted her shadow back at the speed of sound.  The shadow kept going for fifty feet before colliding with a large boulder, obliterating the boulder.

"This is my promise to her...a promise that I will keep until the day I die!!"  Both the girl and the wind shouted in perfect unison.  With a fierce battle cry, the girl shot forward faster than a bullet.  The shadow had only just gotten to it's feet by the time she was on top of it.  Just in the nick of time, the shadow managed to block the girl's punch, and attempted to sweep her feet out from under her.

The teenager anticipated this though, and gracefully back flipped out of the way.  She had just finished the move when the shadow inhaled as much air as it could and shot a wall of midnight black fire at her.

In a blur of motion, the remarkable girl cartwheeled clear of the inferno, conjured an enormous wave of water which took on the form of a fierce some Dragon(which let out a roar equally as fierce as its appearance), and sent it hurdling at the shadow.  The speed at which the wave slammed into the shadow was so great that it created a large "boom", and cracked the ice all around the shadow within a 25ft radius.

As the wave thinned out, the shadow brought itself slowly brought itself to its feet, clearly dazed by the attack, but only for a brief second.  For a few moments, the girl and her shadow stared at each other.  Finally, the teen lunged forward, roaring tremendously.  The shadow, half a nanosecond later, did the same.  Closer and closer they got, and once  they were right on top of one another, the two attacked each other mercilessly.

For half a minute, the girl and her shadow were engaged in a lightning fast sequence of punches, kicks, blocks and dodges.  To anyone who watched from the sidelines, it would have looked much like a dance.  Finally, the fight reached it's conclusion as the shadow stumbled, giving the girl a large enough opening to send her fist right through it's stomach.

For a brief moment, the girl and the shadow made eye contact.  In that moment, the girl smiled, and a second later, the shadow exploded into a million little shards of darkness.  The battle was, at long last, over.

But the girl wasn't done just yet.  Turning around, she brought her attention to the orbs of light that were raining down from the sky.  The girl, still smiling slightly, aimed her hands at the scene, and sent her golden aura soaring into the sky.  For a few moments, there was nothing, but then a brilliant explosion of golden, sparkling dust lit up the night.  As it rained down over the entire area, the orbs of light began slowly returning to their interstellar thrones in the sky one by one.  Soon they were all back in place, and the girl finally breathed a sigh of relief.  Now she was done.

As she looked over the frozen fantasy landscape, her thoughts turned back to the tombstone of her friend, and her brawl with the shadow.  In those moments, when she was so weak, frail, sad and broken, her eyes, which had been sealed shut for so long, had finally opened again.  It hurt her to know that her best friend was gone, and it would most likely always hurt; but she could not, and would not, let that pain ruin her life.  That's not what her friend would want; the girl could see that now. 

 

At that instance of realization, something genuinely freaky happened. Two beautiful angel wings broke through the skin on the girl's back. One wing was a wonderful magenta color and the other was a dazzling azure. Wit these wings, the girl had become quite a heavenly being.

Taking one last glance at the barren, frozen world around her, the girl turned her sights to the orbs of light in the sky, stretched her wings out, and began to rise into the night.  While she was hovering in the air, the voice of the wind came one last time,

"...this is my promise..."  It began.  Smiling, the girl took off into the heavens in the direction of the orbs of light.

"This is my promise to her..."  The wind continued as the girl soared away.  Tears were streaming down her face again, but the girl actually wasn't sad this time; she was happy.  As she drew closer and closer to the orbs of light, the wind said one last thing,

"...And I will keep it until the day I die."  As that last word echoed throughout the frozen wasteland, and as the girl vanished from sight, the wind became calm for the first time in so long.

The End

Author's Note

I really enjoyed writing this one! I am thinking of writing a series of short stories like this(like Grimm Fairy tales in a way), and I want to know: would you like to read more stories like this? Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Mr_M]

Vivid imagery from a writer who clearly has a wicked imagination. The grave at the beggining was quite the picture, this was my favourite part. (in this section all i would say is remove the "it read" as you have already stated "friend" was written on the tombstone.) I like the way the wind speaks and the journey. I would like to know more about the girl to make me want to fight in her corner. I think this could be achievable with a paragrapgh or two. Other than that I would advise you to keep feeding your imagination and continue to create the weird and the wonderful.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for not being afraid to point out what needs work. I didn't really know how to tell more about the girl without ruining the flow, but i'll see what I can do :)

[Mr_M]

Maybe you could leave clues along the way. The wind bringing in a clipping of a newspaper article falling in front of her feet for a very quick example. If you feel you couldn't add to it I would then say don't force it.

[SCRIBBLER]

Such great emotion and landscape features. You have added such vivid imagery and have described each detail with such beauty. Thank You So Much For Writing Such A Great Story. Keep Sharing Such Great Writes With Us.

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for the kind words. I'll continue to write these stories :)

[Tina Kline]

A very beautiful and enchanting story. What could have been a story of just sadness and loss turned into something extraordinary and brilliant. A wonderful read!

[DoormanDan]

I wanted this to be something with lots of description and symbolism, and am glad it paid off. Thanks for reviewing! :)

[Tina Kline]

You are most welcome.

[Lea Walker]

I would definitively read more stories like this, have you ever thought about writing an entire novel? I mean like with only one story, you probably knew what I was talking about but I was just clarifying. Excellent work. Loved it.

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you like this. I am currently working on a book titled One Minute. I'm still writing it, but what I have written so far is under my writing on this website, if you want to check it out :)

[Lea Walker]

Sure I will look at it soon.

[Amber Lily]

This has great imagery! That's always my favorite part of your writes is the scene you set, because it is unlike any other. I say go ahead and make a series of them! I will always be happy to read something with such imagination. It really takes something to take a moral and turn it into some abstract work :)

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you like it, an my favorite part of writing these has always been thinking of the setting, and just going as crazy as I feel like going :)

[Amber Lily]

Hell ya! Why is the grass blue and the sky green? Because I can!!! lol

[DoormanDan]

haha, exactly! Although most times the colors i use are symbolism(this was the case with the strange appearance of the girl in this story if you're curious) :)

[TheNerdyWolf]

This is great and I would love to read more of your short stories

[DoormanDan]

Thanks, I really appreciate the review :)

[Workvio]

You have penned quite an enchanting read ... Your narrative introduction in the first couple of paragraphs really paints an interestingly vivid picture of what depression, grief, loss, and loneliness really looks like from the world within the mind of those who suffer ... Battles are fought and lost every day within the confines that lie between frail human ears ... And most never notice ... In most cases (speaking for myself here) we are our own worst enemy (like the girl's shadow), and if we can somehow stop fighting or win out over our own condemning selves, facing all the other adversities of life becomes much less daunting ... Everyone needs someone in their life to protect them, and make them feel better about themselves, but somewhere down the line we must see what someone sees in us too, in raising our self worth and self esteem to a higher level (not egotistical or narcissistic) of confidence which will help us to be what others already know we, are and, can be ... Your young girl had to learn this lesson the hard way, for there is no other way to learn things so important to the rest of your life ... Great message ...

[DoormanDan]

That was the whole point of this story, to get a message across. I'm glad you liked it :)

[Valentine]

Your write has some really good descriptive words in it. For someone so young, I think you are writing very well. You will progress as you age, just keep writing. Kathie

[Andrew Liddy]

Wow... That was good I don't have any other words. Go ahead and make that series. Just refine it a bit and you'll do great

[Justin Xavier Smith]

This story doesn't really work. It doesn't set itself in a world where the events that take place feel possible, so in the end it's all flash and no substance. The only thing I know about the girl is that she's beautiful, and that isn't nearly enough to make me care about her or her journey. Then she starts fighting a shadow and there's a whole bunch of crazy stuff going on and it's hard to care about any of it when I don't know anything about the character and when the world hasn't built itself up to a place where these happenings feel possible. In the end, I just felt like you had a bunch of cool images and threw them together into a pot and said "well, this is what I've got. It's pretty." And yes, it is. But pretty isn't enough.

[DoormanDan]

I see what you mean. There's not meant to be any back story to it, it's just meant to deliver a message(I've been reading a lot of grimm fairy tales lately, and I was inspired by those). I really appreciate your honesty, thanks for the review :)

[DoormanDan]

And the original purpose of the main character not having a backstory was so that she could be whatever the reader wanted her to be, and if she is whatever the reader wants, it's easier for the reader to relate what she's going through(if that makes any sense)

[Justin Xavier Smith]

Yeah that makes sense. Although I think most people prefer their characters to have a little something they can connect with and then fill in the blanks on their own. Idk, maybe that's just me! Lol

[DoormanDan]

Many many other people feel that way as well. I was trying to make something new by removing that usual factor from the story(in other words, I was experimenting, and this mixture blasted a puff of smoke in my face lol)