Right now, this story is more of an idea than an actual story. I know what I want to write, but I just can't seem to think of the words right now. I have every intention of continuing this story, but it may take a while for me to get started. Anyway, as usual, tell me what you think! :)
My Review
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My only critique: there isn't enough.
There are a few grammar mistakes, but it flows nicely. Reminds me of the Twilight Zone narratives.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Yeah, the prologue is a bit short, but that's because I haven't mapped the whole story out in my hea.. read moreYeah, the prologue is a bit short, but that's because I haven't mapped the whole story out in my head yet, and because I don't want to give anything away yet. Thanks for reviewing :)
How thick is that shell that you find yourself bound in? This could be a very interesting write if you decide to finish it. With age some of us are bound in tighter cocoons. Your growing will better define breaking out of that hold youth has on you. Kathie
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Those are true words indeed. Thanks for taking the time to review this. I have every intention of .. read moreThose are true words indeed. Thanks for taking the time to review this. I have every intention of finishing this story :)
I really liked this introduction and I am excited to hear the actual story that you come up with. Just two grammar errors I noticed my friend. You miss spelled two words, no big deal. First sentence: "We go through a process exactly lie the one those fantastic little creatures go through." exactly lie should be exactly like, I think. Second sentence: "In order to help any of your who are afraid of the world of which you live in, let me tell you the story of a young man who transcended his fears and broke out of his cocoon..." your who are afraid should be you who are afraid. Great introduction
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for pointing out those errors. My keyboard can be unresponsive at times without me even noti.. read moreThanks for pointing out those errors. My keyboard can be unresponsive at times without me even noticing :)
9 Years Ago
No problem, anything to make a fellow writers work greater. I would expect you to do the same for me.. read moreNo problem, anything to make a fellow writers work greater. I would expect you to do the same for me if you see anything that can be corrected in my writings.
Dan, YOU MUST CONTINUE THIS STORY!!!! I LOVE the prologue :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
haha, I'm glad you like it so far CG. I really want to continue this story, so I promise I will. I.. read morehaha, I'm glad you like it so far CG. I really want to continue this story, so I promise I will. It's just a matter of getting the car off the starting line and up the first hill(while there's no gas in the car lol) :)
KEEP It GOING!! xD
I'm thirlled to read more of this story!!
It's really good dan, One nice prologue
Really keeps the readers at the edge of their sits
I'll surely read this story, Keep it coming Dan!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for reviewing this Lizardo. I promise I will continue it, but I don't know how long it will .. read moreThanks for reviewing this Lizardo. I promise I will continue it, but I don't know how long it will be before I write the first chapter in a way that I like :)
9 Years Ago
If you need help, you can ask me :) It's fine, by the way I'm also starting to write a book
Thanks for the offer :). You're writing a book too? what's it about? :)
9 Years Ago
Why not go see it for yourself? :) I already go it up! It would kind of hard to explain because I'm .. read moreWhy not go see it for yourself? :) I already go it up! It would kind of hard to explain because I'm going somewhere right now xD
I'm a twenty seven year old preschool teacher who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making .. more..