Fireflies in the Sky

Dedicated to friends of mine who just graduated this school year

Fireflies in the Sky

Back when we were young, when we all first started out

Like newly formed raindrops, our destination was blocked by clouds

But we have ascended the spiral staircase of all our doubts

Here we are now, levitating twelve feet off of the ground

Together we worked to find a way to outsmart the fox

Together we survived the opening of Pandora's box

Together we stood against the world with pebbles and rocks

Here we are now, levitating twelve feet off of the ground

And as we prepare to fly, a once quiescent feeling I held inside

Has began to thrive, the time has come to leave the hive

And shine like the sparkling stars in the night, we are fireflies in the sky

Through the tempests of darkness raging in our hearts

We persevered, got up when we hit the floor hard

And when the storm passed, we were standing without a single scar

Here we are now, levitating twelve feet off of the ground

And as we prepare to fly, a once quiescent feeling I held inside

Has finally come alive,the time has come to leave the hive

And shine like the sparkling stars in the night, we are fireflies in the sky

As we walk down the aisles with old friends and rivals

We let go of the hand that has helped us to stand

And shine like the sparkling stars in the night, we are fireflies in the sky

Dedicated to Triton High School's class of 2014.  Good luck out there guys.  

Author's Note

I wrote this about a year ago, back when my songwriting hadn't matured to the point it's at now, so that's why this may seem weak compared to my other ones. Regardless, tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Rhia Barton]

I really loved the imagery of this poem but the font and the colours is so distracting, I really struggled to read it :/ The content is lovely but if you could change the colours, that would be really good, especially when there are possibly colour-blind people on this website :S

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for both reviewing this, and for the honest criticism. i'll change the font :)

[J.C. Rabanes]

"Here we are now, levitating
twelve feet off of the
ground"

This is a good line... I can draw images in my mind...

One thing I really like is the way your wording flows throughout the poem... This is. an excellent work.

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you liked this! That line's the one that has the most significance in the song. Do you know what I mean when I'm saying "levitating TWELVE feet off of the ground?" I picked the number twelve because there are twelve grades in school, and then you graduate. Thank you for reviewing this :)

[J.C. Rabanes]

your welcome ;)

[The Black Warrior]

That is very sweet of you!!! I never did that LOL hahaha I actually don't remember if I ever wrote a poem to one of my friends back at High School...oh wait! yes I did...in cyber school, that is where I started writing poems LOL this is very neat and special :D

Thank you for sharing this lovely poem :D

[DoormanDan]

Once again, thanks for the review. I wrote this because I thought I most likely wasn't going to see any of them again, and because I was moving. This is probably one of the most personal pieces I've ever written :)

[The Black Warrior]

Well you are very bold and brave to have share it :D

[DoormanDan]

Thank you! :)

[Valentine]

When I think of the freedom of a firefly all I can hope is that your friends and all high school grads have a good future without to many storms. Life is hard enough without outside things complicating matters. Valentine

[DoormanDan]

Thank you so much for your kind word valentine. I hope the same for them as well :)

[Sarah Rae]

I really liked this:) Beautifully imagery of the journey and mess that is high school.

[DoormanDan]

high school is both a journey and a mess, you're right( ive never thought of it like that before) Thank you for reviewing this!

[Wandering Bookman]

This is very good-you say it's an earlier one yet it shows promise of the talent that was (is) to come. Well done again.
I like the fact that we are at school together supporting each other and then we must leave. Very good writing. It certainly is a clever and different way of looking at those times. I bet your classmates liked it.

[DoormanDan]

I appreciate your review, your words help me grow more confident in myself :)

[Wandering Bookman]

Cool DoormanDan. Confidence helps so much in life.

[DoormanDan]

That it does, especially when your in gym class playing dodgeball, and you're the last man standing on your team lol :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I like the title and of course the lyrics. To think that this was done s a tribute to your friends on that graduation...you are young talented artist. The lines are really good.

Keep it up, young man. I hope we can also hear the tune of your song.
You are great!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing :). I wish I had a tune, but coming up with one I like and remembering it is nearly impossible for me. maybe I'll find one someday, but for now these are just words sadly. Once again, thanks for reviewing this :)

[Skai Rain]

I don't find this weak at all. It is a beautiful and clever write

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for checking this out Brit, I really appreciate the positive feedback :)

[Tasfia Islam]

It's not weak, its really a strong write. I loved it .thanks for sharing :) :)

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for reviewing this Annabelle. :)

[Valkyrie Warrior]

This is beautiful! the rhyming and flow is so captivating!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for taking the time to review this lorharris50!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Your welcome, it was my pleasure.