If I Disappeared

I was just in the mood to write some dark/sad poetry when I wrote this: no need to worry, I don't really feel like this!

If I Disappeared

Can you look me straight in the iris of my eye

And tell me you would actually care if I died?

If I orchestrated the symphony of suicide

At my funeral would you even start to cry?

Would you even care at all?

If Death removed his black veil before me

If I were caught in Bloody Mary's gaze

Would you honestly say that you miss me

And let the sadness inside of you resonate?

If my time called, what would you do?

Tell me

If I were to one day disappear

Would you say it's not the same without me near?

Or would you just cry crocodile tears

And forget me by the birth of a brand new year?

Would you even notice if I disappeared?

Though you smile at me, in the chambers of my mind I feel

That secretly you wouldn't care if one day I don't get home

Maybe it's just my thoughts saying I don't deserve your love

I'm not sure at all, that's why I need to know

Would you even care if I disappeared

Would you even care if I disa

Author's Note

Sorry if this isn't as good as what I normally write. I've been in a bit of a rut as far as having inspiration lately.

Reviews

[Mr_M]

Very dark and imaginative. Ending was brilliant.

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you liked this. The ending was something I thought up at the last minute :)

[Stephen]

Good poem. You speak for all that feels no one would miss them if they were gone. There are times I feel this way..Thanks for sharing

[DoormanDan]

There are times when most of us feel that way, but never once are any of those thoughts true. There's always somebody who cares about us, no matter what. Thanks for reviewing this :)

[Workvio]

You make a good point, asked by so many more folks than yourself ... Do we make a difference? ... Will we be missed? ... Do those we love, truly love us? ... Unknown to me, my Dad's greatest fear was that when he died no one would cry for him ... I did not ... I had to be strong for all the folks crushed by his death ... And then I found myself crushed to learn that I had fulfilled his greatest fear, unwittingly ... All we have or can hope to have when we are gone, is that hope someone will miss us ... Someone will remember us ... Well done ...

[DoormanDan]

I am really sorry to hear about that Marvin. You are right, we all hope, deep down inside, that somebody will miss us when we're gone, and there always will be somebody who does. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Valentine]

Would you care if I gave you a spanking that left you not able to sit down for a month? Valentine

[DoormanDan]

Lol, don't worry, it says in the poem description that this piece has nothing to do with me. I wrote it just because I like having variety and trying new things :)

[Joshua Clement]

Sometimes it's not so much 'what' people say as to 'why' they say what they say... thank you for posting... I enjoyed it, especially the ending!

[DoormanDan]

You are absolutely right, sometimes it is the why that's more important. Thanks for reviewing this :)

[Ashadan]

Full of emotion. I think you don't need to caption , that it isn't good because for me I was brought to the world wherein I imagined if I was to disappear, is someone gonna Asked where I was? ..

Thanks for sharing =)

[DoormanDan]

I think that's a question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives, and the answer is always yes, somebody will care :)

[613]

This was written with great detail & emotion. However, I feel the color you chose does not depict the feeling of the poem at all. In fact, it took me away from the dramatic nature of this piece due to its brightness. Other than that, well done.

- Brittney

[DoormanDan]

thanks for reviewing. The main reason I chose this color is because I wrote this poem based off of another song that, when I heard the sound of it, I just visualized this color for some reason. That's the thing about the pieces I write, their colors all represent colors that I actually envision because of the way the song that inspires me to write sounds. This was, however, written a while back when I was still getting used to using colors in my writing :)

[613]

Ah, okay! (:

[Amber Lily]

I love the format of a question in every other line. I wrote one in a similar form and was pretty pleased with the results.
I enjoyed this one as well :)

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reading this Amber :)

[ayejodie]

I can really relate to this poem, and I think a lot of others can too. If I was to disappear, would anyone notice? You ask all of the right questions and lay them out so perfectly, your words flow so well. I think it a lot of readers can really connect with this poem. I liked it! :)

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for the review ayejodie. I'm glad you like it. I like to write things that people can relate to :)

[Cool Girl]

Me too! Tis fun:) Haha, I'm still laughing about my reveiw...

[Cool Girl]

I know those were rhetorical questions, but...

1. Yeah, if you died I would care.
2. I would cry so hard at your funeral that there'd be a flood:)
3. I would miss you too much. I'm one of those people who find it hard to move on..
4. If time called and all that happened, my soul would be torn into pieces.
5. Of course it wouldn't be the same without you! Who would I give imaginary food too?!?!?
6. Yeah I'd notice, I'd regret not getting to know you well.
7. This is making me sad... You totally can't blame me if I message you once a day just in case you actually do disapear...
8. So basically, I'd be broken without you!

But anyway, this poem is super good! I do wonder a lot if people will miss me if I suddenly leave....
Great job, Dan! I hope my review made you happy:)

[DoormanDan]

Yep, your review made me hapamahappy :). Dont worry though, I've never actually felt this bad before(how could i when somebody's giving me imaginary food lol :)). Thanks for caring though, it really means a lot :)

[Cool Girl]

haha, you're welcome :P