Let the Children Dance

I wrote this a while ago because I had to move away from my friends, which means I won't be able to graduate from high school with them.

The time has come to lay to rest the years that we spent holding hands

So let the children dance while they have the chance

Forever sings serenades in perfect harmony with sweet serenity

So let the children dance while they have the chance

The pain hits like a supernova coursing through my veins

As I leave this place I know I'll never be the same

Summer has arrived at last and with it the last time we will get

To let the children prance, play their games and dance

The pendulum keeps swinging on beyond the baby steps of dawn

So let the children prance while they have the chance

The feelings screaming inside of me are slowly getting out

No words shall go unsaid; I'll make every moment count

Although magicians have cast their spells over our destinies

I won't ever forget a single melody

I will always remember September

We gaze up at the galaxies sleeping in the starry sky

Both aware that very soon we'll have to say goodbye

So let the children dance while they have the chance

Author's Note

I want to know what you honestly think about this. I want to become a professional songwriter someday, so please give me your honest opinion.

Reviews

[Audrey Murray]

I think the are many layers to this poem and I like the way you tie the various thoughts together with the repetition of let the children dance if you want to turn the poem into a song I think you need to reuce some of the thoughts but keep the lines let the children dance while they have the chance ...has a nice cadence to the line

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for the review. I wrote this piece centuries ago, so it isnt as good as most of my more recent writing. :)

[Mr_M]

Fantastic poem. It has a very sad tone to it, which I love. I like the title and the running theme through out. It played out like song in my mind.

[DoormanDan]

This piece, out of all of my songs, is probably the closest to having an actual beat. Unlike most of my other songs, I actually wrote this one to the beat of "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. Thanks for the review :)

[Stephen]

This was kinda sad. I could relate though. I had one I held hands with for a short time. I loved her like crazy..just wasn't meant to be. Thanks for sharing

[DoormanDan]

I'm sorry to hear about that. It's always hard to have to move away from those you love, even if it's only an hour and a half away(in my case anyway.) It wasn't the move itself that made me sad as much as it was the fact that I won't be graduating alongside my friends in 2016. Thankfully though, I've made new friends in Delware, so I most definitely won't be alone here when graduation comes. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Workvio]

I was young once, and in school, and in love so I thought, then I was, and then I was married for 39 plus years to be captured by the same woman again ... When you are young you should stay young, stay a kid for a long as you can, because being a grown up is not all it is made out to be ... Memories are the greatest of treasures, and I agree, "Let the children dance while they have the chance ..."

[DoormanDan]

Memories are the greatest of treasures, that's a line to remember right there. I agree with you, one should make the most of it(I'm 18 now and don't have many childhood years left, so you can bet I'm making the most of it!). Thank you for reviewing this Marvin :)

[Joshua Clement]

Beautiful... and sad, with life taken in perspective that our lives are short... This is really good!

[DoormanDan]

I'm really glad you like it. I appreciate the feedback :)

[Ashadan]

We gaze up at the galaxies sleeping in the starry sky
Both aware that very soon we'll have to say goodbye
So let the children dance while they have the chance

I like this write-up. I appreciate the message since it was so realistic. Another poem of life ^_^

[DoormanDan]

It's always the realistic pieces of writing that strike closest to home. thanks for reviewing :)

[Perkele.7885]

I liked your poem for you explained to us what it was. I do not personally see a song coming out of this particular poem such as it is formatted now. I do not think that you need any references to magicians to help sell your poem either. Good luck with your writing.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing, and thanks for the encouragement. I actually don't ever do anything in order to sell my poems or songs or any other piece of writing. I honestly couldn't care less about popularity and all that stuff. I write whatever comes to my mind just to write something that I'm happy with at the end of the day, and if it becomes popular, it becomes popular, if it doesn't, it doesn't. My formula for writing; creativity, quality and originality over quantity and popularity. :)

[613]

The ending was a bit sad, but that's life, isn't it? We all say "goodbye" in the end. This was written well. I could connect to this very much.

- Brittney

[DoormanDan]

Those are true words you've written. I know that the move I made wasn't even that big of one(I only live about an hour and a half away from my friends now), but the main reason it affected me so much was because that place was the first place where I had actually made very many friends. :)

[613]

Aw, sorry you moved!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks, everything's alright now :)

[Valentine]

This is very well written. Sorry about your forced move, it had to hurt. I know I would have felt terrible in the same situation. Kathie

[Amber Lily]

It's always a joy to read your work because when I read it I imagine it as a song in my head. The best songs and poems come from personal experiences, be it experiences of sadness or happiness, it's the raw emotion the listener feels is what always draws them in. And you got it :)

[DoormanDan]

I always try to imagine a beat to my songs, even if it's not original, before I write them. It makes it a lot easier for me :)