Red

a poem about a girl struggling with self harm depression and an eating disorder

No food could pass my lips

she forbid it

But i could not resist 

the gooey chocolate chips

And so there i went 

To the white porcelain 

to pay off my sins

to her

But what i found was silver

and maybe that was

a better suffering

to pay off my sin

to her 

So i sat on the porcelain instead

shut out the noise

i grabbed the metal

my hand was shaking 

my body was trembling 

my heart was racing

my stomach was twirling

but

they

were

begging

so on i went

line after red line after red line

more pressure would follow

until it was all too much to handle

and the pressure would cause too much red

and then

all the red 

would be gone

and i would have paid off my sin

Author's Note

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