Dissociating

A Story by Daniella

To be or not to be. You know that you are not, but can you not be?

The human mind can be sharp as well as it can be deceitful and vague. You think it’s deep waters that you are jumping into, but the truth is that it’s shallow, but you will never feel it. The tingling of your fingertips becomes the waves of the ocean as the water’s hit. You will never feel that pain.

Your mind lets go of what is exterior, and although the only remain is your soul, it feels as though even that is disappearing. Is your sight still working? Do you understand the images that are presented to you? Are the clouds made of water? Or are they made of stories that you will never tell? You could tell those stories. Or will you linger and wander in the sorrow that they leave behind?

The water is cold, but it feels like the first touch upon your deprived skin. The craving is unbearable and the cold turns into warmth.

As long as your eyes are open, the only thing you can do is believe in what is not and what might be. As soon as you close your eyes you appreciate the marks that the water leaves upon your skin. You cannot tell if it’s freezing or boiling, for you are losing every sense in your lifeless body. The world is quiet as you are submerged almost completely, and then slowly, you let go. The only thing that your mind can do is try to stay attached to your soul, but it does not. It lets go. You let go. Everything around you has become surreal and your mind’s eye has closed upon your soul’s last sigh.

© 2018 Daniella

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When I saw your writing. Frist thing what I notice there is quiet elegant style. Reading of this piece was quiet enjoyable even sometimes I cannot follow pattern of your writing. But that's not your mistake cause I have dyspraxia. People with dyspraxia need more time work with I formation then normal people.I feel there is lot of emotions and desire to be free from your self and world. That's all what I get it . But I think is write in very beautiful language. Also is was not boring for me to read and that's nice too.