" Evil Comes Out"

A family reaches the hotel where they plan to spend their holidays. The hotel is located in the central part of the city, its architecture resembles a general upstate modern 5 star hotel. It's called "The Lazarus Resorts" .
The kids love the hotel, the parents happily abide as they are impressed by the hospitality and alluring decor. They get a 2 bedroom suit on the 12th floor. 
The whole afternoon and part of the evening is spent by the kids looking and trying various fun activities the hotel offered, while the the parents accompanied them and had their own fun at local bars.
It is night time, the parents are tired and the kids asleep. The husband decides to relax himself at the pool, the wife decides to stay in her room and catch some T.V.
Husband reaches the pool floor, hoping that it might still be open.
The lights are on, as expected there is no one inside or near the pool.
Husband decides he can sneak some time in, he undresses to his trunks and dives in the pool. A minute passes by but he doesn't emerge to the surface, then suddenly!! a hand grips the ladder on the other side,its the husband, he walks out.
He dries himself and makes his way back to his room. 
Meanwhile , the wife is watching a weird oldish black & white magic T.V show on an exclusive hotel channel. 
The show feels intended for kids but something about it draws her attention, the host starkly resembles her husband, it feels that without the mustache and black hat ( characteristic of a magician) it was him. This close resemblance keeps her hooked. 
After every magic trick, the host keeps reminding the viewers to not miss the big surprise act which will come at the end.The room bell rings, wife looks through the peephole and sees her husband. She opens the door and smiles at him while saying " your early I guess", the husband gently nods and replies " got tired of drowning my soul in the pool", the wife laughs pretending it was funny.
The husband goes to sleep, while she decides to resume watching the show. Finally, the big moment arrives, the surprising last act for which the host was screaming about during the entire show.
The colorless black and white display switches to a colored over the top shot of a swimming pool.
The pool appears to be there in a dark hall,yellow lights glowing underneath the still water.
In the water is a motionless body, floating,face down,held upwards by the buoyant force lifting a dead mass.
The looks on her face turns  from excitement, to surprise and at last dread.
She fearfully starts to realize it was her husbands body she was seeing. With all those years together, she could tell how he looked from behind.
The T.V switches back to the the black & white show, the host bows his head and gives out a sinister laugh. He points his fingers towards her sleeping husband and with deep eerie voice proclaims " I AM OUT".
Her body becomes stiff, heartbeat slows down and an abominable lull prevails in the room.
Her eyes are filled with fear as she turns her head towards her husband. 

Reviews

[Kelsey Schadt]

Interesting premise for a story. Very eerie. One suggestion would be to work on flow. The majority of your sentences start the same way, subject first, followed by predicate. In fact, you often startsw with "The." I would try to change this up.

So instead of, "The husband decides to relax himself at the pool, the wife decides to stay in her room and catch some T.V.
Husband reaches the pool floor, hoping that it might still be open.
The lights are on, as expected there is no one inside or near the pool."

try

"Deciding to relax by the pool, the husband excuses himself from the room, while his wife catches some tv. Pleased that the pool is still open and the lights are still on, the husband is not surprised by the vast emptiness surrounding the pool. There is no one inside or even near the pool. He is utterly alone.

Just a tip!