Julio and the Girl with a Million Pencils

Julio enjoys a good contest of strength every once in a while.

Through the doorway there was a window and the largest pair of eyes he had ever seen. The girl was younger than him, but looked serious enough to be a professor as she turned towards him, making it clear that he was interrupting something.

“Who are you?” he asked, since it was rather hard to tell what with the smock and all.

“Me? Oh, I’m lots of things. I just haven’t decided which one I want to be the most of.” She paused and brandished a pencil in his direction. “What do you think?”

“Pardon?”

“Well, what do you think? About me?” Stomping her foot in impatience, she waved the pencil in agitation. “Come now, you must think something! Why, I’ve never met someone who couldn’t think, not really.” He found it harder than he should have expected to answer.

“Well, I haven’t ever seen anyone who could be quite as scary with just a pencil.”
That had been a good enough answer apparently, as the girl grinned.

“Thank you. And for that matter, I don’t know anyone else quite as excellent at giving compliments.”

 

“Who the f**k wrote this s**t?” Julio asked himself as he shut the book.

“A very important person wrote it, Julio, so pay attention,” said Doc.

“No I mean it, who wrote this? There’s no author on the book spine,” said Julio.

“I don’t know, some Russian chick, shut up. Listen, you gotta focus on the words. It’s the words that are important. What is the author trying to tell you? What do they want you to believe is true?” asked Doc.

“That little girls can walk around with big eyes and smocks and pencils and no one asks where her parents are?” Julio answered.

“Wrong, moron,” said Doc.

“You’re a lousy teacher,” said Julio.

“I’m not a teacher, I’m a doc, now listen. The words, Julio. The narrator never said it was a little girl, the narrator said the girl was younger than the main character. But remember we never get the main character’s age. He could be 80 for all you know. A fifty year old grandma would be a girl to him. Or maybe he’s a misogynist who sees every female as young and naïve because you notice he never called her a woman or even a lady, just girl. Infantilizing is a sure sign that misogyny is going on, yo,” said Doc.

“What’s the point of all this? Really?” asked Julio.

“It’s to see if your brain is working right and clearly it isn’t. Here, walk with me,” said Doc. They went out of the study and into the living room. Doc opened the face of the windup clock sitting on the mantle of the fireplace.

“Where are we going?” asked Julio.

“We’re going in, buddy. Hang on,” said Doc. He plunged his hand into the clock. It made a weird clicking noise and then the world fell away.

“Oh fuuuuuuuuu” Julio fell and fell until he hit the ground. The ground has hard. Really hard. He was in a hospital room. The white linoleum floor reflected the pale light of the world outside right into his face.

“You gotta learn to take those landings better,” said Doc.

“Ow, my a*s,” said Julio.

“Now then. Pay attention,” said Doc.

Julio looked up. Through the doorway there was a window and the largest pair of eyes he had ever seen.

“Oh s**t,” said Julio.

“Knock ‘em dead, kid,” said Doc as he lay on one of the hospital beds and unscrewed the lid to his flask.

“Who are you?” asked the girl.

“Me? I don’t know. Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?” asked Julio.

“That depends on who you are,” said the girl. She was as Julio imagined her. Short, young, straight blonde hair and blue eyes. Like the girl from that one phone commercial. She was wearing a smock. It looked almost like a straitjacket but the arms weren’t tied together.

“Well who am I?” asked Julio.

“That’s a question only you can answer. I’ve never met someone who couldn’t answer that. Not really,” said the girl. Julio adjusted his glasses. Wait, he didn’t wear glasses!

“Your sense of Self is unraveling, Julio. Keep your defenses up,” said Doc.

Julio took out the Emerald Blade, the weapon given to him by the gods of narrative structure to aid him in his quest. He looked at his reflection in the polished metal. He was still him. He was still Julio.

“What makes you think only I can answer that question?” asked Julio.

“Because who else would?” asked the girl.

“Every other single person in the world that isn’t me, for starters. You can’t just decide who you are, other people do that for you based on your actions,” said Julio.

“Well what do you think about me?” asked the girl.

“I think you’re an annoying little b***h,” said Julio. The girl looked shocked.

“What? But why? I didn’t do anything,” said the girl.

“That’s exactly my point,” said Julio.

“I… I have a pencil and it makes me scary,” said the girl.

“Nothing about you or that pencil is scary. You can’t decide who are unless you actually do things. That’s something I learned the hard way,” said Julio.

“Says who? I can decide to be whatever I want!” the girl said, stomping her foot.

“A murderer can’t decide to not be a murderer when the cops come to arrest him. A rapist can’t decide he’s never been a rapist. It doesn’t work that way. You are what you do and you are a whiny, annoying little b***h,” said Julio.

“You don’t think I’m scary?” the girl asked, her head down, probably because she was sad. Doc looked up from the adult magazine he was reading.

“Oh no. Julio, time to go,” said Doc.

“Wait, I almost figured this story out. The girl represents the need to be identified by others but doesn’t realize…”

“We can review this s**t later, Julio we need to leave,” said Doc. And suddenly Doc was gone.

“You don’t think I’m scary because I haven’t done anything scary yet?” the girl asked. She looked up. Her overly big eyes the very definition of hatred.

“Oh s**t,” said Julio. The girl whipped her hands out of the long smock sleeves and had ten razor sharp pencils between her fingers. “Wait, how are you holding that many pencils?” asked Julio.

“Die!” the girl screamed as she threw the pencils at Julio.

Julio willed the Emerald Blade into its katana form and blocked the incoming attack by whirling it around like in the movies. The pencils hit the blade and ricocheted off into the floors and ceilings and beds and IV fluid bags, puncturing and piercing everything they hit. The girl grabbed more pencils from her smock jacket and charged toward Julio, screaming in a blood rage. It was at this point that Julio began to feel a little fear.

He redirected her pencil attack and tripped her, causing her to fall face first onto a bed and over it, hitting the wall beyond.

“Knock it off!” Julio shouted.

“Are you afraid yet? Am I scary? Am I?” the girl screamed.

She kicked the hospital bed at him and he jumped over it a mere instant before it connected. Julio charged the blade with meaning and cut through the air, slicing the very concept of solidity. The slice carried forward and cut everything in its path. The girl ducked out of the way and threw another pencil.

“Seriously, cut it out!” Julio yelled as he cut the pencil in two.

“I’ve never met someone who couldn’t think. Not really,” said the girl as she pulled out a huge pencil that looked more like a spear than a pencil.

“You’re the one fighting me,” said Julio.

“What do you think of me now? Tell me!” the girl screamed as she charged again.

This time Julio charged as well. Their strikes met and a sound like thunder shook the room. Sparks flew which caught the beds and curtains on fire. Julio slashed, catching the girl’s cheek. She brought the spear down, catching Julio’s cheek.

“Ow my cheek!” they both yelled.

They kept fighting and the fire spread. Julio saw it wouldn’t be long before everything burned down around them, so he tackled the girl straight out the window. They fell for several stories, the book never specified how many, and hit the pavement below. The fall should have killed them both, but the power of narrative convenience was Julio’s to wield and he wielded it.

“Bite my a*s, physics,” Julio said as he reached into the girl’s pockets and pulled out 15 pens.

“Hey those are mine,” said the girl.

“You want to know who I am?” asked Julio. He plunged the pens deep into her heart. Her eyes widened with shock and pain. “I’m a member of the pen 15 club.”

“Grow up,” said the girl with difficulty.

“You first,” said Julio. He did a stylish finishing move with his katana that separated the girl’s head from her body.

He willed the blade back down to its knife sized form. The world was grey and drab outside. The overcast weather began to melt away until Julio flew up and rose through the heavens. He opened his eyes and found himself in Doc’s living room.

“When I say run, you run,” said Doc, rubbing his temples.

“What are you talking about? I kicked that girl’s a*s,” Julio said with a grin.

Author's Note

So this was for a contest which asked to use the snippet provided. I normally don't write stories like that, but the idea for this one struck me and I had to do it. Hope you enjoyed!

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

This was both a fired-up (literally) fighting scene and a brain exercise. The doctor's questions, Julio's questions and the girl's questions all made me think and wonder what makes us truly who we are... The girl with big eyes and pencils was indeed obnoxious. The doctor's twist plots are hilarious. Enjoyable to the end!

Never stop writing.
~Aysha.

[StarNinja]

Glad you liked it. I do enjoy writing philosophical fight scenes. I blame growing watching anime. ;)