skinny dipping anyone?

drabble...

They stepped in the pond; naked as when they were created and started to swim. The girl whimpered as tears fell like rain making tracks through the dirt on her face. As the entities swam faster and faster around her cuts and bruises on her body healed and blood vanished with each wave lapping at her body, caressing lovingly a child’s form containing an unknown soul. When the ritual was over they all walked out of the pond smiling heading north towards the sandy beaches where they would sit back, relax, and let healing process continue to it’s blissful finish…

Author's Note

i'm entering this in batesy's drabble contest but please feel free to citique in any way you can think of thanks

Reviews

[Craig Bates]

Thanks for the entry in my drabble contest. This was one of the more original submissions I had for the competition - with skinny dipping presented not as some mischievous or seductive act, but as a passage of healing. That was a concept I found very interesting and hadn't expected so thank you for that.

One of the main things I looked at in choosing winners was effective use of language with regards to the hundred word limit and I thought that was one of the failings of your drabble at times. It felt like you had omitted words to make the word count, rather than rewriting passages. I'm not sure if you did or not but it does feel like you've dropped the occasional 'the' or other seemingly unnecessary word to make the count.

However I thought it was a different writing style to the other submissions and I enjoyed reading it. I should be doing another competition soon and if you had fun writing this or found it somehow useful then please enter again.