A Vent

let it out ;)

the robin in the rain lay still as the train wreck passed through my mangled head
the pain and the blame are a stain on my belief of believing what she said

down the dark slope, I cope, with a slight confusion: a delusion, if you please,
a bang on the knees of my skeletal frame

a moment lost not gained

a reality possibly insane and inane but I'll refrain of delving into it like an emotional retard
I'll pretend that I don't have a soft centre that it's all hard

I'll make you think that where my reactions are is a guard (covering my cold stone heart that was replaced with a machine from the start )
that my blood-pumping tool is simply not a fool and I always make the correct decisions
that I'm always spot on, that I never get it wrong and that I have the perfect intuition
that I think with my head and I trust it instead of actually thinking things through

that I actually go and trust in you

that I gather all information in relation to the station that I missed for a change because I didn't think of me
that when I did this I was right because I had you in my sight and what else was I to see
I'll now defend and attack not to get you back but to leave you in the howling gale

u can stay in the street light

stay under the cold night no matter how much you plead or wail
this is why I tend to remember not to chat and mingle
this is why I don't bat an eye-lid and why I stay single

but as strange as it seems
thank you for helping me vent my spleen
and once again never forget to never settle for second best

Reviews

[Natalie C]

Oh yes Dan, this is something we can all learn from, never settling for being second best. Your words stands firm, almost cold towards the person intended, but I guess that was the whole idea and I have top admit it worked perfectly with the imagery and metaphors you used, emphasizing the coldness of a heart torn apart too many times in life

Nice work, I really liked this one!

[Bethany Woody]

Awesome internal rhyme. I've yet to master that completely, so kudos for you for doing it so damn well. I think we have all felt like this a time or two. Sometimes we just have to let it all out and then let it all go. It's a very angry piece, but you write so well. I'm sure it was somewhat theraputic for you too. I love the way this flows like it just poured out of your head and onto the paper. This one is going into my favorites so I can study the internal rhyme, maybe get it right next time.

[Lia]

Chilling, emotional and strong. Great piece x

[Nicholas Hallows]

I do enjoy vents! This is a very cathartic piece

I'll pretend that I don't have a soft centre that it's all hard - and the tempo and cutting wit of it does give this impression.

Another impressive write!

NH

[Bubo]

ouch
what a vent! Your tumbling of emotions pour out............flow so well almost in a silent mind rant as
your walking, the lack of full stops etc create a speed of thought that you are hurt, resigned, and very angry at your treatment.No forgivness at all.

[Maria G.]

the robin in the rain lay still as the train wreck passed through my mangled head
the pain and the blame are a stain on my belief of believing what she said

Opening stanza amazing love the imagery here, i like this its pure raw emotion with a fast steady pace, the only thing i would suggest would be not so many I's in the poem but that may spoil the overall effect so no sure. thanks for sharing.

[L.P. Hawkins]

Pardon the phrase, but this was fast and furious--as a vent should be! This time, lacking punctuation is the perfect thing--it keeps the words moving hard through the brain, each one resounding against the chest with its own note. I abolutely love not caring if I'm in the rain--especially since it rains here lots!

[Ebby]

You are the urban Thomas.
I adore this Dan, it is achingly genuine and gives us a snapshop glimpse of your thoughts, tumbling over each other.
xxx