Titled #36

 

Rolling mist in the softened red October eve

Dissolves the black fade into subtle orange shine that deceives

As curling into the ether it all twists and disappears

And if lucky it can counteract to disperse your fears

 

HGV driver sleeping in the sway of the light rain

Closed within and unaffected by the passing train

You think that everyone must set the same goals

Surely it’s to simply feel settled and feel whole

 

Like scattered stars on my double glazed screen to Earth

It’s indescribable to understand the changes since birth

And if your aspirations are already set and prepared within

Or if you ever get a choice to decide from where you begin

 

Reflection, dissection of everything you feel you’d ever experience

Seems to drift and sift entwined in the daily deliverance

All I can consider if that the whole sequence is purely a tribulation

And to improve yourself is to love, hate and feel all sensation

 

Reviews

[Tiffany Pochatko]

Very good job sir. Your rhymes were deep and had meaning; your words weren't forced, they just spill out over the screen. I love that. A few times I had to go back and read a few lines over, but only to better understand your feeling. I love these lines:
"like scattered stars on my double glazed screen to Earth
It's indescribable to understand the changes since birth
and if your aspirations are already set and prepared within
or if you ever get the choice to decide from where you begin"
Those lines really say a lot. Nice work. Sorry it has taken me a while to get to this. My computer has been really bogged down.

[Lucky Me]

I like this it was very smart. from how I read it, I felt like the God was thinking this. "like scattered stars on my double glazed screen to Earth It's indescribable to understand the changes since birth"he wants us to improve like you said "and to improve yourself is to love, hate and feel all sensation" People dont' want to feel bad, ever, so they do things that are even worse for them to block that saddness or pain out. This poem encourages one to embrace every emotion; good and bad. I like the message here