Plastic Bag Suicide

I was having my lunch, I watched a bag speeding towards me....this is the results...;)

 I saw a plastic bag commit suicide today

It ran past and jumped into the bay

No time to question or to altercate

Clear to see that it was in quite a state

 

It swirled and dived under my gravity-held seat

Its intentions somewhat quicker than my feet

I watched as it sunk into the watery depth

And the handle waved as if one last gasp for breath

 

So, is this the end of the bag that fled?

Did the water quench its death-desired plastic head?

Did it drown and suffocate in the ocean’s floor?

Nay! With a gasp, it washed up on the shore!

Reviews

[Elvina CZq]

lmao! What a poor plastic bag. At first, I thought it was some kind of a story that someone or something committed suicide with a plastic bag. But it turns out not what I had expected. Aww, isn't it fun to be a writer? Now, I know why people say writers are all crazy, because they surely can write whatever they see, touch, smell, taste, feel, hear, and even imagine. My favourite line would be "And the handle waved as if one last gasp for breath". It somewhat adorable to me, but sad. hahaha

Thank you for sharing :)

[wolfshrew]

that poor fortunate little bag

[Bubo]

You really have a great flow and great wit.......the image of this poor bag flying off to doom is quite captivating and me feel quite sorry for it!
But of course, bags will always surface!Love your style and wit!

[R J Askew]

The title also caught my attention... Was it an environmental poem? Did someone actually kill themselves with a bag? Was it about a junkie's glue bag even? In fact it is a great little read, very witty and we at once sorry for the bag and annoyed with it for refurfacing...but that is exactly what they do do, to remind us of what we drive them to perhaps. So there is a sub-text to the amusing surface of this one. Great read mate.

[Bethany Woody]

The title caught my attention, but what I found when I read this was not at all what I expected. This actualy turned out to be a great little piece that was fun to read. There is great vocab and rhyme, which can be a hard combination to master. You either have the words and then can't rhyme or you can rhyme but the words are so so. There are also some great visualizations here too, no one says dived or swirled very much anymore.
Overall, well writen, a perfect length for the subject, and catchy in both title and word use.
Good job.